Dude and Dude: Labor Day

“Where are you going, dude?”

“To work, dude.”

“But, dude! Today’s Labor Day!”


“No, dude, you don’t get it. We’re supposed to be celebrating labor!”

“You go right ahead. I spent too much of yesterday cooped up in a big room celebrating religious bores in church robes. If you think I’m going to waste any of today cooped up anywhere with lay bores in aloha shirts, you can think again.”

“How about one with a big fat drill, dude, so he can bore a hole in your head and let in some light? It’s a holiday, dude. You’re supposed to celebrate working by not working.”

“So that’s why you’re broke, dude.”

What’s why, dude?”

“Because you don’t make sense. If they don’t want you to work, why don’t they call it Nolabor Day? Or Gositonyourcan Day, or something? Besides.”

“Besides what, dude?”

“Who’s going to look after all the tourists, dude? You want to send them home unhappy, so they don’t come back? They’re already pissed off at the high prices, and the shoddy service, and the plastic aloha. God help us if they figure out just how bad the roads are. It’s not like this place has an oil industry to sustain us if they spend next year in Jamaica. You might have to hock your surfboard.”

“Already tried it, dude. So’s everybody else. No sale. But about these bores in aloha shirts. Your boss don’t count?”

“Not without help. But he ain’t no bore.”

“No? Did you go to the same office party I went to last week?”

“He gets a pass, dude. He’s paying the rent. While a lot of people who went to that party and talked about their holidays are sweatin’ theirs. I’m outa here, dude. See you tonight.”

– O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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11 Responses to Dude and Dude: Labor Day

  1. Doug says:

    I’m going to work, but I’ll be dreaming of gositonyourcan day while I’m there.

  2. Thom says:

    Well I do hope that Dude and Dude do have a happy Labor Day

  3. anthonynorth says:

    Well, being a Brit, I don’t have such decsions to make today. I suppose our nearest holiday equivalent is May Day. I guess that means we may go to work or not 🙂

  4. tilden says:

    i worked!
    i labored on labor day.

  5. tilden says:

    all right
    i did not labor in that sense

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