He and She: Crabby

She: “So, how did you like your lunch?”

He: “Wonderfully crabby.”

She: “Right. I’d complain about that crack if the crab salad hadn’t made me crabby.”

He: “Hm?”

She: “I pressed the crab in that can as hard as I could to get the water out of it. When I was done, I wondered if I had crabmeat or sawdust. And the salad is still runny!”

He: “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

She: “Thank you, love, but how could you not?”

He: “Sweetheart, runny is what the crab does before it gets stuffed in the can. I didn’t have to catch my lunch with a net, thank goodness, so as far as I’m concerned, it wasn’t runny. They wouldn’t be able to market the runny stuff anyway.”

She: “Um …”

He: “You catch the crabs and package them, you have a can of crab. If you are unable to catch them, because they’re running all over the place or something, then you have a can’t of crab, yes? I don’t think those would sell very well.”

She: “So that’s why the grocery store clerk was pointing to empty shelves the other day and saying, ‘No can!’”

He: “Well. I guess I know his manager’s name.”

She: “Oh, do you?”

He: “Of course. Crabby Appleton.”

She: “Don’t think so.”

He: “Why not?”

She: “What? In the land of aloha? No can crabby apples grow in Hawai‘i!”

He: “You bottle them instead. What about those peeps who were angry at everybody because the lifeguard saw a shark and chased them out of the water and off the beach? They weren’t crabby enough for you?”

She: “Tourists. They flown here, not grown here. No can count them.”

He: “No can can them either.”

She: “But can they can can?”

He: “Nah, they want us to dance for them, not the other way ’round. No can can can.”

She: “Have I mentioned that it’s nap time?”

He: “What? You’re trying to get me to can it?”

She: “Whatever gave you that idea?”