He and She: Ought Notic

He: “So what did the physicians tell you?”

She: “That it was high time that I stopped hacking.”

He: “Holding out on me again, huh? Black hat or white hat?”

She: “White gown. Or maybe white shroud if I had waited any longer!”

He: “We talking about a medical appointment or an audition? What did they give you?”

She: “Nothing.”

He: “Now that I don’t bel …”

She: “They made me pay for it.”

He: “There. They did give you something.”

She: “What?”

He: “The bill. Which was for their time and …?”

She: “An antibiotic.”

He: “[…] Then you’ve been cheated.”

She: “Uh, whut?”

He: “You just told me that they made you pay for an anti-buy-otic. If they weren’t going to give it to you, you should have stolen it!”

She: “I’m going to take some now. Does that count?”

He:Put .. those .. pills .. down!! Just where did these physician peeps get their MDs? Wal-mart?!?

She: “Sometimes I wonder …”

He: “Do they understand that coughin’ isn’t spelled with two Fs?”

She: “No coffins. Cremation. Maybe then I’ll finally convince you that I’ve urned my keep.”

He: “What you need to convince me is that you’re not a cyborg.”

She: “For why?

He: “Because if you are, and are plotting to take over the world, I can maybe use an antibioNic to stop you. But, last time I looked, you were flesh and blood, a biotic creature, and I have neither reason nor wish to stop you by using an antibioTic. I’d much rather that you had a probiotic!”

She: “Sweetheart, I am getting the right stuff. You, on the other hand, may have a problem.”

He: “Hm?”

She: “The auntiebiotic is perfect for me. But it probably won’t work on you. And have you ever seen an unclebiotic on the market?”

He: “Uncle!”

She: “What are you complaining about? You started this!”

He: “I’m complaining about the fact that, if I did wish to off a biotic, I don’t have a word for it any more. I’ll have to make one now. I suppose, if con is the opposite of pro …”

She: “Sorry, love. They market those on social media. Check your spam folder.”

He: “Ew.”

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1 Response to He and She: Ought Notic

  1. Quilly says:

    I love you?

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