He and She: There Castle

She: “You are not allowed to go on any more trips without moi!

He: “Separation anxiety, much?”

She: “So you want the werewolves to take me?!?”

He:Where are you getting wolves on the Big Island of Hawai‘i? Haven’t we got enough trouble with the volcano?

She: “Well, love, you just beware of the ware that the werewolves are selling at the roadside stand. You might meet me in those meat pies!”

He: “I thought those were tamales.”

She: “So they’re Mexican werewolves.”

He: “Not if they’re putting pineapple in their tacos, they aren’t. What did I agree to this time while I wasn’t paying attention?”

She: “You were paying attention! Or at least you looked like you were. And then you just forgot!

He: “In your dreams, maybe.”

She:Exactly!

He: “Oy. How many times have I told you that I’m not responsible for what happens in your dr…?”

She: “We took a picnic to a park. And the park manager let us in, but told us never to separate, never even to get beyond touching distance. Or we’d be targets! And you agreed!

He: “I’ve got to start figuring out how to avoid agreeing to things in absentia.”

She: “How about by not being absent? So you said OK to this, and then you wandered off! Chasing after some seaweed or something. I figured you’d be back soon and spread out the picnic blanket all nice and pretty. I finished that and looked up, and I was surrounded!

He: “Werewolves, I suppose?”

She:Right there wolves! And bears, and orcs, and vampires, and …”

He: “Right. No more urban fantasy novels before bedtime for you!

She: “I called out ‘Honey!!‘ And you said ‘Just a minute!’ But I don’t have a minute! The creatures are closing in! Any second now, and they’re going to grab me! I start heaving fruit at them from the picnic basket to keep them away. I’d just bonked a goblin off the head with the last peach when you finally show up!”

He: “And see nothing.”

She: “Of course not. You weren’t the one who had been abandoned. And you did see something.

He: “I shudder to think.”

She: “You noticed that all our fruit was gone. ‘Hey, that was our lunch! You wished to throw things, we could have brought softballs or something.’ ”

He: “At least you didn’t throw in the towel.

She: “Nope, I still know where my towel is. No thanks to you!

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