Amoeba’s Lorica: Product Search

loud suitJohn Jack, Advertising Executive: “Ah, good day, good day, Casper, come in, come in! I’m afraid I’ve only got a few minutes before my next meeting …”

Babe, Jack’s [um] Administrative Assistant: “They’re waiting for you on the first tee, Mr. Jack.”

Jack: “… with my teetotaling colleagues. Major contracts to discuss. I remember you helping us out with VitaMAX® …”

Casper W. Chinn, Research Director: “Thank you, sir. Ah, I don’t remember the VitaMAX® line going public …”

Jack: “Sad story, Chinn. Front office dithered, and a competitor got their line out first. Sold well despite this hopeless “vitamin” name. You didn’t, ah, leak that to anyone, did you?”

Chinn: “Wasn’t me. This Polish guy published it in the open scientific literature, I had nothing to do with it. His name was Funk, I think.”

Jack: “‘Open’ literature, gaa. We’ll have none of that around here, right? We will protect our intellectual property, Chinn, and that means you! Guy must have been in a funk to propose such a lame name. Still have no idea how come it sold. Anyway, we’re wasting time. I would like you to do some market research for us.”

Chinn: “Sir?”

Jack: “I want to know what the product ‘Over The Rainbow’ consists of.”


Jack: “I hear about it all the time, but can’t find a supplier, and have no idea what it is. A perfume? Other toiletries? Happy pills? A clothing line? What?

Chinn: “[…] Might have something to do with kitchenware or kitchen apparel, sir. Folk I’ve heard keep mentioning it in connection with weighing pies.”

Jack: “Well, I want to know, and I want to know now so we can beat them to market. I can’t believe that they’re dumb enough to peddle this product, whatever it is, with the slogan ‘Some wear Over the Rainbow’. Everybody wears Over The Rainbowâ„¢! We’ll beat these dummies to the punch and make a killing!

Chinn: “As you wish, sir.”

Jack: “Good boy. Get it done quickly and I might yet be able to prevent two of your scientists from being laid o …”

Babe: “Mr. Jack, your foursome needs you now!

Jack: “On my way, babe! Until your next discovery, Chinn – good day!”

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1 Response to Amoeba’s Lorica: Product Search

  1. Quilly says:

    I think Jack is primarily concerned with “Sum” wear.

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