“Your internet real slow?”
“Yeah. I told you not to put all those damned commercial widgets on your Payperblaug page. Now look what you’ve done!”
“Dude, if I’m that powerful, how come I ain’t sending you out for coffee?”
“Because, dude, the richest Payperblauger in the world can’t afford a cup of coffee. Never mind the flunky to get it for you.”
“Of course I can’t make any money if the internet’s crashed and no one can see my posts! What are we going to do, dude?”
“Besides reaping the thanks of a grateful world for your silence? How about checking the ISP’s status page?”
“Y’mean, we can?”
“For the moment anyway. Here goes … oh, man, dude! Get a load of this.”
“That sounds odd.”
“Odd?!? Dammit, dude, there’s a hole in this bucket. You get your internet from the cable company. When the cable goes out, you’re supposed to use the Internet to check out the status of the cable service. But you don’t have the cable, so you can’t use the cable to access the internet to figure out what happened to the cable!”
“Oh wow, dude. Who thinks up this stuff?”
“The same people who think that the kids of Hawai‘i are so much smarter than everyplace else that, unlike everyplace else, they can afford to lop seventeen days off the school year.”
“Y’mean, like the kids that can’t divide 10 by 10 and come up with 1?”
“They weren’t kids. But, yeah, them.”
PS: Do not read the comments on the newspaper article, linked to above, that details the teacher-furlough plan for the public schools in Hawai‘i. If you’re like me, they’ll make you wish to give the state back to the Hawai‘ian monarchy, and good riddance to bad rubbish.
– O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.