Amoeba’s Lorica: Right

A work of fiction. Standard disclaimers.


Jerry and Zeke Weaver stood outside their wigwam, waiting, shivering slightly despite their heavy wool togas and sturdy animal-hide boots. These signs of high social status were not enough to protect them against the first frosty days of winter, which had turned the grassy fields surrounding Clan Cohasset’s wigwams brown, and stripped the leaves from most of the trees. Nor were they enough to protect them against the frost in their hearts.

Finally, their tutor Sisyphus emerged from his wigwam. If the day’s chill affected him, he showed no sign. He spotted the boys and waved, silently and imperiously, for them to come to and follow him. They did so, Jerry without energy, and Zeke with a sullenness that threatened to break out into open defiance.

They walked to the edge of the village’s cleared space, where a group of half a dozen Clan Cohasset girls waited, with baskets in their hands. Sisyphus came near and then headed towards a path through the forest, beckoning them to follow. They did so, silently, solemnly, with the boys in the rear. Two of the older girls hung back and walked with them, side by side when the path allowed, sharing the burden. Zeke stifled a sniffle.

They came to a group of small trees, bushes really, that clustered around the edge of a woodland pond. A few of the branches clung to the last of their small red autumn leaves. On most of the branches, there were small black berries. Sisyphus beckoned the girls to his left side, the boys to his right.

“Observe”, he commanded. “The trees are small, and are near water. Their leaves are small, they are single, and at their falling are red. The berries are black and in small groups. Take one and eat.” The children did so, and as each one did, each one’s face puckered.

“They are sour, but they are not bitter, they do not burn the mouth. They are safe to eat. They will keep through the winter, dried or stashed in the snow that will soon come, and they will protect you from the bleeding sickness. Collect them now, before the birds and the mice get them.”

The girls set to work. Sisyphus took the boys aside. “Heed the tale of the women, who keep the lore of the trees. Which of them bear fruit that is good to eat, which of them do not. How the trees have fared in their seasons. Are they flush with leaves? Have they flowered well? Have the fruit set, and have they ripened well? If there are no berries, then the survival of the village will depend on finding the wild roots and harvesting them before they wither and can no longer be found, which is well before the tree fruits ripen. The wise leader will read the signs and protect the clan, as best he can, against the chances of nature.”

“I don’t want to be wise”, Zeke spat out. Then, a wail. “I want my sister!”

“This would have been Naomi’s first year to pick berries”, Jerry said sadly. Naomi, younger than Zeke by a year, had gotten sick in midsummer, and never recovered. The clan had buried her wasted body a week prior. She was the third girl, and fifth overall, of their mother’s children to die. Sisyphus, hearing Zeke and Jerry’s distress, stood erect, rigid, silent, disdainful, apparently unmoved. He remained that way until the girls returned, baskets a quarter full, complaining that the trees had no more fruit that they could reach. Then, he waved them all onward, further into the forest. The boys had no choice but to follow.

They encountered more trees, some with the same black fruit as before, others with reddish or purple ones. At each one, Sisyphus repeated the drill, telling the picking team what to look for, introducing the taste of each fruit when it was edible and signs to warn them when it was not, and then commanding the gatherers to pick, or to move on with him. Slowly, the boys let go of their pain, became more engaged with the process.

Abruptly, as the party was walking along the edge of a clearing, Zeke pointed into the woods, shouted “What’s that?” and dashed off. At a nod from Sisyphus, the rest followed. They stopped at a small tree that, unlike all the others in that part of the forest, still held all of its leaves, broad, glossy, and green. And among the leaves was a cloud of brilliantly red berries.

“Wow, these are pretty”, Zeke exclaimed. “Are they good?”

“Try to pick one”, Sisyphus advised.

Zeke thrust his hand into the foliage, immediately pulled it out again, wincing. “Ow!”

“Observe the leaves,” Sisyphus said to Zeke, “and the needles on them. Prickles guarding the fruit.” He then turned to the rest. “Heed the warning of the prickly green leaves. These fruit are not for us. They may not kill, but they may leave you wishing that they had killed you. Even the birds will eat them only when there is nothing else, and then only when the first green grass of spring appears in the clearings.” He strode off once again, beckoning the children to follow.

At last, the baskets were full, this one of black fruit, that one of purple, the other one of burgundy red. Sisyphus led the group back to the village and to the elder women who would begin the process of preparing the fruit for winter storage and use. The boys were the last to return, Zeke apparently lost in thought, Jerry hovering over him as if trying to prevent him from falling in a hole. Sisyphus, having turned the girls over to the women, came back to meet them. He observed Zeke’s preoccupation, inclined his head; a question.

“Master Sisyphus, are not all these berries the children of the trees?”

“That they are indeed”, Sisyphus replied, a note of respect in his voice.

“Then why are we taking them?”, Zeke demanded. “Do they not have a right to life?”

“Did Naomi?” Sisyphus challenged. “Do you?

Zeke shook his head, not so much to say ‘no’ as to admit that he was confused.

Sisyphus’s face took on a far-away, introspective look. “In Onenya, the people argued endlessly about their ‘rights’, so the lore-masters tell us. They had long lists of things that they thought should be theirs, without anybody or anything telling them that they could not have them. And they fought with anyone who tried to deny them any of those things. They forgot to ask whether any of them had a right to life, whether anything they could do would grant them life for ever and ever, life that could never be taken away from them, by anyone or anything.

“Had they asked, they would have realized that none of them had a right to life. That life is anything but a right. It is granted for a limited time, and can be taken away at any time, for any reason or none at all. Is that not so? For Naomi? For any of us?”

Zeke nodded, a tear in his eye at the reminder of his dead sister.

“And if there is no right to life, how can there be a right to any lesser thing? There cannot be. Is that not so?”

Zeke nodded again, not happily.

“Think back to the tree with the prickly leaves and red berries. How many berries were on that tree?” Sisyphus asked.

“Many”, Zeke replied. “Ten counted ten times, and ten times the ten by ten, and more.”

“And how many young trees with the prickly leaves did you count?”

Zeke started, astonished. “Why, none!”

“None”, Sisyphus echoed. “All those berries, and all the energy that the tree put into making those berries. And all for nothing. But consider if all those berries had made trees. Would there be room in the forest for anything else?

“Probably not”, Zeke responded. Then, after a moment’s thought, “But if all the fruit of all the trees made young trees, the pile would reach to the skies! How could it be supported?”

“It could not”, Sisyphus asserted. “The trees put energy into the fruit in the expectation that the right number will survive and yield new trees. They make many fruit and cast them to nature, and nature makes use of them. People have few babies, but put much energy into tending them so that they live to have babies of their own; so we do not have to make as many fruit as do the trees but we have to work harder for the ones we do make. And still we cast them to nature, and nature makes use of them. Those creatures that do not put enough energy into the fruit that they make will die and not be replaced, and they will leave this earth never to return. Life and its patterns and processes can be explained in no other way.

“There are no rights. There is only investment, in the correct amount of energy spent for your kind to survive and reproduce. Or the incorrect amount of energy spent, which is death and obliteration.” A rare note of compassion entered into Sisyphus’s voice. “You miss Naomi, and wish she were still here to be with you.”

Zeke stifled a sob.

“The wise leader will feel the feelings of the clan and everyone in it, and share them”, Sisyphus concluded. “But he will also pay attention to what the people of the clan need to know, not what they wish to hear. He will guide the clan to survive and prosper based, not on useless fantasies, but on what is and what needs to be done. Even if he has to issue his commands through tears. Come. Your family is waiting.”

The two boys walked with Sisyphus to the Weaver wigwam in silence.

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Amoeba’s Lorica: Treading

For the general public, [19th and early 20th century] patent medicines presented an affordable and easily accessible alternative to medical care. In contrast, medical treatment by doctors was often costly, and many individuals could not afford it. Furthermore, numerous people lived in remote areas where access to doctors was limited. Patent medicines appealed to consumers because they could be ordered through the internet mail, and kits of medicines for common ailments were available. – Oregon Health and Science University


MANAUS, Brazil (API*): This gateway city to South America’s Amazon Rainforest is bristling with guns at this hour. A strong multinational joint military operation, the MWHA Expeditionary Force, is preparing to enter the rainforest and clear the way for the hordes of humans that are targeting the world’s last remaining snake habitat. Factory ships clog the Port of Manaus in anticipation of turning a bountiful snake harvest into oil to meet the overwhelming popular demand for snake-oil-based health and beauty aids.

A renegade force consisting primarily of radical militant factions of the former Sierra Club and laid-off scientists, physicians, and administrators from the former US National Institutes of Health have vowed to stop the snake harvest. Drone strikes and sabotage attempts, apparently directed at elements of the MWHA EF and at the snake harvesting/processing infrastructure, have met with indifferent success, commonly missing targets and causing collateral damage, infuriating local residents. Expeditionary Force commanding General, Alexis Haig, dismissed the rebel force and its ineffective actions to date, saying:

Those who would presume to oppose the Will of the People with force need to be sure that they have mastered their tools. They have not, they had previously forsworn them, and now it is too late for them. We will wipe them off the path of progress, we will help them kiss their own asses goodbye. We move out in the morning, and expect our campaign to be swift and sure.

A reporter for API who asked Haig what would happen to the industry after all the snakes were gone has not been heard from for three days. A speaker for the Expeditionary Force offered thoughts and prayers, but no assistance in locating her.

In other news, the embattled traditional-health cult Médicins Sans Frontières has reported the extermination of a team sent to the headwaters of the Congo River to investigate claims of a smallpox outbreak. A speaker for MWHA accused the team of attempting to force the banned “vaccination” procedure on citizens in the outbreak zone. “Their deaths are on their own heads”, the speaker asserted. “We will address the problem in a way that actually assists the population, instead of filling the bursting coffers of extortionate science-medicine practitioners – as soon as snake oil from the Amazonian operation becomes available. In the meantime, those who survive this outbreak will be stronger and healthier. Make the World Healthy Again!

Reports from the scene, smuggled to API, claim that the force sent against the MsF physicians was led by a woman in a white lab coat named Alexa, who was accompanied by burly black-clad apparitions bearing the emblem of a “Surplus Humanity Service“.


*  API: Amoeba Press International. All Fake News. Always. As You Like It.

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Amoeba’s Lorica: COPout

Global climate talks ended with a resolution that made no direct mention of fossil fuels, the main driver of global warming. – New York Times “The Morning” Newsletter, 23 November 2025

COP30 showed that climate cooperation is alive and kicking, keeping humanity in the fight for a livable planet, with a firm resolve to keep 1.5C within reach.” – Simon Stiell, 22 November 2025


NEW NOME, Big Baird Island, Alaska (API*): International climate talks at this palm-studded resort on the balmy shores of the Bering Sea concluded today, without reaching consensus on how to deal with human-mediated climate change, the political, social, and environmental consequences of inaction notwithstanding.

In deir closing address, Climate Conference Executive Secretary Barri Beatapieda maintained an upbeat tone while acknowledging the issues and their severity.

“The blessed bright sunshine of New Nome in high Alaskan summer could not cover up the climate storm that is planet Earth in our time”, dey said. “The carbon emissions that have created this paradise, and are needed to sustain it, are collapsing precipitously, as fossil fuel stocks are depleted or lie too far below our global ocean’s surface to be recoverable, and as the human population has declined to the point that even the best efforts of individual citizens have, so far, proven to be insufficient to maintain current atmospheric carbon dioxide levels.

“Already, the consequences of inaction are evident, and costly. Snow and ice have started to appear on the high peaks of the Baird Islands during January and February, and, to our east, there are reports that the tallest mountains of the Brooks Range now are ice-covered year round. Lowering sea levels are threatening maritime infrastructure, and confronting ship traffic with new navigation hazards. Keystone species of soft-bodied marine animals, and algae, are suffering with the decreasing temperature and acidity of the seawater. The animals and plants of Alaska’s forests and plains cannot be far behind. Speaker after speaker has asked, nay demanded: ‘Must we wait until the palm trees freeze before we take action?’

“But, speaker after speaker has assured us that, despite the challenges that we face, despite the outlook that could be bleak if we let it be bleak, steps are being taken.

“Our information technologies are making use of the increasing energy inefficiencies of their devices, enforced by the loss of manufacturing capacity and innovation drive that has resulted from a declining human population, to increase per-capita carbon output and thereby limit carbon loading decline overall. They are, of course, urging 24/7/365 usage of these devices.

“Our transportation industries are encouraging more leisure travel within the human-habitable zones of this our planet, and are initiating tours to the ruins of civilization in the intolerable zones. They are encouraging bigger and more powerful vehicles with their attendant elevated fuel use, longer commute times, and other means to keep carbon consumption by planes, trains, and automobiles at acceptable levels.

“Our energy industries are working, as feverishly as capital and political will allow, to capture the methane and other high-carbon-output but low density molecules from the anoxic zones of our oceans, and use them to replace our fossil fuel stocks as they run out, to fuel our economy and the atmospheric carbon loading needed to sustain the environment that our economy needs to survive and grow.

“We are not yet winning the climate fight. But we are still in it. Our speakers, and our participating nations, increasingly are choosing unity over bickering, science over witchcraft, and economic common sense over silliness. Climate cooperation is yet alive and kicking, keeping humanity in the fight for a livable planet, with a firm resolve to keep a global atmospheric carbon dioxide content at and above 1000 ppm within our grasp. The palm groves of this lovely Big Baird Island resort deserve no less.”

Among the Climate Conference’s few consensus recommendations was a call for dramatic steps to increase the human population, for more and larger families to reverse generations of decline caused by loss of habitat for people and crops, and by the increasing social and financial costs of children. When asked by API for comment, Ange Fercos of the Alaska chapter of JASL had this to say:

When males menstruate, get pregnant, suffer labor pains, nurse, change diapers, and survive bratty child temper tantrums on top of working the 80-hour weeks that the Conference thinks is necessary to keep the climate stable, not to mention pay for the food that is not available to us, then we of the JASL might consider going along with the family policy. Until then, the wannabe slave-drivers of the Climate Conference can suck it.


*  API: Amoeba Press International. All Fake News. Always. As You Like It.

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