Dude and Dude: Stash

“So, dude, how’s yer stash?”

“An’ yer aksin’ fer why? How long we been doin’ this?”

“Ah, awhile now …”

“An’ ya still ain’t figgered out that I don’t do needles? Sewin’ ‘r othawise? Glad ta know I’m worth nuthin‘ ta ya, dude. Thanks a pantload. An’ as fer tha weed …”

“Not that stash, dude! Tha Hallowe’en stash! Ya gotta know it’s a’most Hallowe’en ’cause yer goin’ all scary on me. If’n we ain’t done nuthin’ ’bout stockpilin’ treats yet, we gotta get on it, like pronto, afore them hungry kids in bedsheets start showin’ up. We don’ want no tricks!

“We don’t?

“Trixie’s outa my price range, dude …”

Wantin’ an’ havin’ ‘r different, dude. Leastways they was once. But we’re talkin’ candy, yeah? Wit’, like, sugar an’ chocolate an’ fat an’ red dye no. 3 an’ brominated whatchacallits, yeah? So tha kids can get sick, an’ hyper, an’ obese, an’ poisoned six ways from Sunday. Dude?”


“Tha trick’s on them, amirite? An’, dunno ’bout you, but I’ve been workin’ on this ‘stash’ thingy fer awhile now. Here, lemme show ya.”

“[…] ah, dude?”


Tell me ya ain’t givin’ out beans on Hallowe’en.”

“Who said nuthin’ ’bout givin’? Ain’t nobody but you an’ me gets ta know we got this, nevah mind whut’s in it. Ain’t ya been followin’ tha news lately?”

“Not if’n I c’n help it, dude.”

“Ye’uh huh. So ya know nuthin’ ’bout tha Middle East blowin’ up, again, ‘r ’bout the Ukraine mess, ‘r how tha Chinese ‘r snoopin’ ’round tryin’ ta make trouble ta distract its people from tha fact that its guvmint ain’t deliverin’ on its promises, ‘r ’bout earthquakes, ‘r storms an’ fires wipin’ people out ’cause a climate change, an’ people still gettin’ COVID, an’ meanwhile the US guvmint’s fixin’ ta shut down right afta Hallowe’en ’cause it ain’t got money ta run it, ’cause tha freaks’ve shut down tha House a Representatives an’ we got 20 peeps ta thank that we don’t got a guvmint that’s been put in place by brownshirt standovah tactics? At least, not yet?

“[…] dude?”


You been talkin’ wit’ OC again?

“Sue me. Good luck gettin’ a court date any time this decade. An’ hope that we won’t be relyin’ on this survival stash ta eat afore that date’s scheduled.”

“Ohfercrissakes, dude, lighten up, willya? We got a whole new set of Hallowe’en costumes ta look forward to when tha beggars come to tha door to get poisoned next week.”


“Members a Congress.”


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Amoeba’s Lorica: The People’s Business

“We need to make sure we’re sending a message to people all throughout the world, that the House is open to doing the people’s business.” – Steven Scalise, 11 October 2023

It’s probable, dear reader, that you have been doing everything in your power to ignore the hot mess that the government We the People elected into office has become. Especially that House that is supposed to be particularly Representative of Our Will.

Perhaps you have also removed all the mirrors from your home.

Alas, like the proverbial moth to the flame, Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba has been drawn in, circling the blinding light while, as usual, he is supposed to be doing something else. Like trying to make a living while there is still the faint glimmer of a chance, lurking at the edges of the glare, that a living can be made in what remains of his miserably stupid choice of a life’s work.

Instead, he meditates on the matter of “the people’s business”, and is our government capable of doing that, especially the speakerless House.

Some time ago now, YFNA was guilty of imagining what would happen if the artificial intelligence, that we are so hell-bent on subjecting ourselves to, figured out how nonsensical our electoral practices are, how unrepresentative of the people they have become. In particular, because those electoral practices consistently ignore the candidate that, in any sensible mode of assessment, for any office, is Our true choice:


The 2020 Presidential election was the first since at least 1932 (the first year for which YFNA could find data that he could handle) in which a live person (Mr Biden) received more votes than Nobody – the choice of citizens eligible to vote who choose not to.

Do not ask why these people refuse to get with the program and vote. Ask why the system has degenerated to the point that it offers only Beeblebroxes to vote for. And why We have allowed this to become so.

Given the situation in the House of Representatives at present, YFNA chose to ask, “Are these people entitled to profess to be doing the people’s business? Do they have any business occupying their seats in the House versus those who have truly been selected by the electorate?”

It turns out that accurate figures – estimates really – for the voting-eligible population of each congressional district in these Untied States of America aren’t available online for any year after 2018. So YFNA chose that year as a proxy for 2023, and asked how many of those persons who call themselves Our Representatives truly belong there, how many of them received more votes than Nobody.

The answer, out of 435 seats in the house:



Twenty-seven persons in the lower house of the 116th Congress of the United States of America earned more votes than Nobody. Five (out of 53) from California, four (of 8) from Minnesota, three (of 9) from Massachusetts, two each from Colorado (7), Pennsylvania (18), Virginia (11), Washington (9), and Wisconsin (8), one each from Florida (27), Illinois (18), Maine (2), Maryland (8), and Oregon (5). That’s it.

Way, way short of a quorum.

In the 2018 Congressional elections, Nobody won 235 seats by an outright majority, the choice of 50% or more of the eligible voters in each district. On the strength only of those seats, Nobody is the party in power, gets to set the House rules, gets to name the Speaker, and Nobody gets the right to put up a fuss about any of it. Add to this the 173 Nobodies who won their seats by plurality, and you have a one-party state. Heil Nobody!

It doesn’t matter that Hakeem Jeffries is a nation-destroying commie with a lack of appropriate melanin deficiency, or that Jim Jordan is a nation-destroying nazi toady prepared to ensure that those cursed with melanin bend over at their master’s command, wrestlemaniacs. None of them – none of them – have a mandate, none have any business being anywhere near the Capitol, except as tourists that aren’t allowed anywhere near the building any more.

They are not Nobody.

And Nobody is the People’s Choice.

What mirrors?

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Amoeba’s Lorica: Meme-ories 47

It is now the responsibility of the GOP members to end the House Republican Civil War. – Leader of House Democrats Hakeem Jeffries

What Mr Jeffries should have said (and maybe did, out of the hearing of the press):

“The GOP is now not one party, but two, the Fascists and the Nazis. Neither commands a plurality in this House. We, the Democrats, do. This house shall elect a Democrat as Speaker, or be content to explain a very long holiday to the People of this nation.”

“This great nation?”, a Republican backbencher shouted out.

Jeffries walked away without responding.

Forbearance is no longer acceptable. Or must We wait for the Reichstag Capitol to burn?

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