“… uh, dude?”
“Yeah, dude? Anʻ whyʻre ya whisperin’?”
“ʻCuz Iʻm tryin’ ta be real quiet, like it sez over there. Don’ wanna make no noise. Don’ wanna start no trouble. Yeah?”
“[…] Riiight. Whoʻre you an’ what’ve ya done wit’ tha dude what’s saposed ta be here? Ya feelin’ OK? Ya ain’t runnin’ a fever, are ya? Do I need ta be gettin’ ya a COVID test?”
“Ssssshhhhh!! Dammit, dude, what part a tryin’ not ta start this new year like we started the last two don’t ya get?”
“Yeah, like, sorry, dude, tha China‘s already dropped. Ya’ll be lucky if’n ya ain’t still pickin’ up tha pieces in July.”
“Happy new year ta you too, dude! Sheesh. But speakin’ a new year, I’ve been puzzlin’ over somethin’.”
“So that’s where all tha foldin’ tables went!”
“Not that kinda puzzle, dude! I wanna know ’bout this ‘Auld Lang Syne’ ever’body’s been singin’ ’bout tha last coupla days. ‘Course, I dunno why I’m aksin’ ennythin’ ’bout nuthin’ ta tha Mr Sunshine dude …”
“It means ‘fer tha good ol’ days’. Whut’s hard ’bout that?”
“Just this, dude. Ever’body sings an’ talks ’bout the Auld Lang Syne. An’ nobody sez a word ’bout the Co-Syne.”
“[…] Dude?”
“Whut?”
“When did ya get inta tha mushrooms? Ya flunked trigger … trigga … trigonomnom … dammit, dude, ya flunked math a ton a time ago! What tha hell got ya off on this tangent?”
“Who sed nuthin’ ’bout math? It’s a new year, yeah?”
“Yeah, duh.”
“Duh yerself. Ya get new ennythin’, there’s permissions ta get, contracts ta review, prob’ly money ta hand over an’ get receipts fer. An’ it’s a baby new year. It’s underage, dude. Prob’ly couldn’t signature nuthin’ if’n it wanted to. Not that any lawyer’d allow it. So who’s co-signin’ tha paperwork?!?”
“O .. my ..”
“Amirite?!?”
“So this is what ya call tryin’ ta sneak up on 2023, huh?”
“[…] oops …”
“Yeauh-huh. But I gotta thank ya fer one thing.”
“Yeah, like whut?”
“At least ya kept yer clothes on ta start this year.”
“Dude.”
Dude