Dude and Dude: Self-Image

“Dude! What the hell happened to you?!? You look like you’ve been through a war!

“Not a war, dude. A theatre.”

Which theatre? Afghanistan?

Friday Harbor.”

That don’t sound like it’s a war zone.”

“Dude, willya stop bein’ a pain and get a dude somethin’ for the pain?”

“Where does it hurt?”

“My ears, after having to listen to you. But my knees hurt, my feet hurt … hell, dude, I’ve even got shin splints.”

“Well, they did say you’d be poundin’ the boards …”

“But they didn’t say I’d need to be poundin’ ’em in $200 athletic shoes to keep me from rackin’ myself. And that ain’t even the worst of it.”

“There’s worse than payin’ 200 bucks for shoes?

“Yeah. I can’t even keep my outfit straight. I spend all this time in the dressing room making sure my cap’s slanted to the right, and then I see a picture of myself and the cap’s slanted to the left. Dammit, dude, everything I’ve got on is on backwards. What the hell?”



“You idiot!

“Wha …?”

“You always wear your cap slanted to the left.”

“I do not! Always to the right, dude.”

“That’s because you dress yourself in front of a mirror, dude. And the mirror’s always backwards. Ain’t you ever tried to read somethin’ in a mirror?”

“But, dude, I never see myself any other way! It’s, like, how I imagine myself. So are you sayin’ I’m the only one who sees myself like this?”

“Well, dude, you’re always tellin’ me you thought you were unique.”



“I thought you were gettin’ me somethin’ for the pain.”

“Some other part of you’s hurtin’?”

“Yeah, dude. My head!

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2010 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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