“Well, here we are again, dude, coolin’ our heels backstage while OC goes an’ tries ta break glass wit’ sound.”
“Ya got sumthin’ betta ta do, dude? Like, cleanin’ yer room fer once?”
“Don’ gotta now, yeah? I, like, got permission!”
“Ta perpetrate a public health hazard?”
“‘Messy yeah‘, dude! Amirite?”
“[…] So, like, don’ say OC ain’t nevah done nothin’ fer ya, OK?”
“I sapose, dude. But, couldn’t he h’ve sent fer pizza fer us while he’s singin’ an’ dancin’ out there? An’ can’t he be singin’ somethin’ that, like, makes sense?”
“They’s takin’ donations.”
“Which they won’ be gettin’ none a if’n peeps can’t figger out what ennybody’s sayin’.”
“Peeps did kinda talk weird 300 years ago.”
“Weird? Busted is more like it. Didn’t they have no English teachers back then? I sent ’em back sum a tha teachers we had in school, them teachers w’d have conniptions! Like, how’s about this line? ‘He trusted in God that he would deliver him, let him deliver him, if he delight in him.’ Which him is him? Red ink special, an’ a lousy grade ta boot! Sheesh!”
“An’ ya’d fix this, like, how?”
“Right now, dude. ‘She.'”
“‘She …?'”
“‘He trusted in God that she would deliver him, let her deliver him’, yada. Don’t gotta guess what pronoun means who no more. An’ we both know that ‘high an’ mighty’ has gotta be …”
“Dude?”
“What?”
“Don’ go there. An’ one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“Ya know how some dudes an’ chicks go on ’bout bein’ ‘born again’? This ain’t what they mean, dude.”
“Beats tha alternative, dude.”
“What alternative?”
“How long c’d you hang on wit’out a liver?”
“[…] O .. my ..”
“Two minutes an’ more this song goes on ’bout how God is gonna de-liver this poor sap. What, is God like tha US Cavalry what shoots alla tha buffalo on tha plains for their tongues? Yer gonna rip tha guy up, use alla tha parts. De-liver him, de-kidney him, de-stomach him, de-blad …”
“Ew!!!!”
“[…] Ya don’ wanna go there either, dude.”
“Why not?”
“‘All we like sheep‘.”
“[…] Tell me there’s a comma in there, dude. Please tell me there’s a comma …”
“I can’t even tell ya how many a them sheep ‘r scared, dude.”
“You’re not helpin’, dude.”
“Think ‘mint sauce’, dude.”
“Is it too late ta try ‘n’ get OC ta bail on this gig?”
“Dunno, dude. Y’ll havta find tha conductor an’ ask if’n he c’n be excused. Her name’s Grace. Seems ta be a OK kinda chick. Amazin’, even.”
“[…] Du-UUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!“