Late one fine virtual afternoon, as the dinner hour approached …
“Who you callin’ fat, dude?”
“I ain’t callin’ ya nuthin’, dude. Now, tha doctor …”
“Yeah, dude, doctor is right. Docin’ my paycheck, as if ya didn’ need a microscope ta see it afore he got through wit’ it. Didya see tha prices on tha meds he wants me ta take?”
“Well, that’s one way ta be sure ya cut down on yer caloric intake.”
“Ack! Don’ you start in on tha fancy lingo, dude. An’ keep OC outa this!”
“Uh huh. Good luck wit’ that.”
“An’ since when is starvin’ good fer my health? I ain’t a drug company, so I don’ need money?”
“Dude, don’ give tha President enny more idees than he’s already got, yeah? But tha medicine man’s gotta point, hah? Ya wanna be less, so’s ya don’ havta work so hard luggin’ yer donkey around tha place, ya gotta, like, chow down less.”
“But whatta we gonna do wit’ this food in tha fridge? We can’t let it go ta waste!”
“[…] heh heh …”
“Shaddap! We got leftovers in here, dude. An some a it’s good stuff. Even whut you cooked. Miracles do happen, I guess. It’s all gotta be eaten!”
“No it ain’t.”
“Yeah so!”
“No it ain’t, dude! It’s gotta be ea-nine, yeah?”
“Whut?”
“Ya see? 10% off a’ready.“
“O … my …”
“Amirite?”
“Ya wan’ me ta lose weight this badly?”
“W’seven. An’ it ain’t jus’ me.”
“Dude …”
“I’ fact, if’n I heard tha doc aright, we’re talkin’ more about w’five as yer target.”
“Du-UUUUUUUDE!!!!”
“Wha-AAAAAaat?!? If’n I wuz you, ya wanna lose w’five, ya’d better start yer diet like, right now.”
“Tell ya what I’m a-gonna do wit’ yer diet, dude.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m gonna kill it!!”