13 June 2015: The Amoeba laments being drawn into the 2016 election season a year and a half before the actual election.
Donald Trump would declare his candidacy on 16 June.
17 October: “And in a nation that is seriously considering a Donald Trump … for President, and that … persists in electing members of Congress with ignorant or hostile (or both) attitudes towards science, it is unclear where the will, or the money, is going to come from to develop the fossil-fuel-free energy technologies that are going to permit people to see enough benefits from them that they will be willing to give up their current machines.”
Trump’s status as the consistent front-runner for the Republican nomination led to him being featured on the cover of Time magazine in August 2015, with the caption: “Deal with it.”
28 February 2016: Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.
Trump won the Nevada caucus on 24 February with a landslide 45.9 percent of the vote, his biggest victory yet.
13 March: Anti-Trump protest rallies lead Reg to see an investment opportunity in forest products.
On 9 March, a Trump supporter was charged with assault after he sucker-punched a protester who was being led out of the event. The local sheriff’s office considered filing charges against Trump for “inciting a riot” at that event, but concluded there was not sufficient evidence.
9 April: “Ya heard ’bout how tha cream an’ tha scum both rise ta tha top, right?”
On 30 March, Trump told MSNBC “there has to be some form of punishment” for women who have abortions, should the procedure become outlawed under a future conservative supreme court. He reversed his statement several hours later.
25 September: “The status of Alaska remains unresolved. It had petitioned to join the Heartland Nation, on condition that it build a wall through the Bering Strait to ward off annexation of the State by Russia, plus supply military forces to protect the Panhandle and Peninsula from Cascadia, but the President Ruler of the Heartlands, Donald Trump, rejected the petition on grounds of insufficient funds (most of Mr Trump’s assets having been seized by the Big Apple City State), and territorial matters closer to home (Colorado River and Oklahoma), thus reportedly reneging on an earlier promise.”
The first debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, on 26 September, is the most watched debate in the history of the USA, with 80 million viewers. Clinton baited Trump with charges of racism, sexism and tax avoidance and he took the bait – every time. For all the good it did her.
6 November: “Apologies for the security breaches, Your Majesty. Resetting the bridge password now.”
“You’re a little late with that, aren’t you?”
“Following directives, Your Majesty.”
“First rule of access. ‘Allah is forgiving and merciful.’”
Late on the evening of 8 November, Donald Trump is declared the winner of the 2016 US Presidential election, despite receiving 2.5 million fewer votes than Hillary Clinton. The Dude & Dude website goes on a two-month hiatus. This is not a coincidence.
8 January 2017: Reg and Syd revel in the newly authorized authority of authority. “That’s why we have Facebook, the Kardashians, and the National Football League. Can’t think while eating candy, can you? Besides. You saw the results of the last election. How likely do you think it is that America will develop any significant body of critical thinkers any time soon, never mind a body that will have any influence?”
The Washington Post noted that Trump’s cabinet would be “the wealthiest administration in modern American history.”
19 March 2017: Kris an’ Murphy confront the news that the mantle of ‘leader of the free world’ has passed from the USA to Germany.
On 17 March, Mr Trump held a bilateral meeting and joint press conference with German Chancellor Angela Merkel at the White House.
23 April: Kris an’ Murphy realize that, as far as politics is concerned, science is a dodo.
On 22 April, the ill-fated ‘March for Science’ takes place. The movement is ripped apart by identity politics and other forms of internecine squabbling well before anyone hits the street, and the exercise is not repeated, leaving only useless pockets of complaint against the anti-science, anti-intellectual tide of mainstream thought, flowing from the White House through the United States of America. On 21 April, the Dow Jones Industrial Average is at 20,547.76. On 10 November 2016, it had been at 18,807.88.
21 May: The Dudes suddenly realize that they’re living the ancient fable, ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’, up close and personal.
On 9 May, President Trump fires FBI Director James Comey, leading to the first of many popular, and ignorant, calls for Mr Trump’s impeachment. On 19 May, there are still 700 positions at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that reportedly have gone unfilled.
18 June: “Well, Master Screwtape, the counties in area code 616 all pretty solidly voted for Trump and Republicans last year.”
On 16 June, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Strategic Operations and Outreach in the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) of the U.S. Department of Education, Candice Jackson, releases new guidelines regarding bathroom policy for transgender students. In a Twitter post, President Trump confirms that he is under investigation for obstruction of justice, reiterating his claim that it is a ‘witch hunt’.
26 July: Kris an’ Murphy come to the conclusion that Trump is just another in a long line of Beeblebroxes with FAANGs.
On 24 July, President Trump meets with families described by the White House as “victims” of the Affordable Care Act, holding a press conference urging Senators to repeal and replace it. On 26 July, the Justice Department files a legal brief on behalf of the United States arguing that the 1964 Civil Rights Act does not prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or, implicitly, gender identity.
9 September: A slackening in the torrent of chaos from the White House gives the (alas, mistaken) impression that there is a puppet master behind the throne.
On 3 September, Defense Secretary Mattis publicly states: “We are not looking to the total annihilation of a country, namely North Korea, but […] we have many options to do so”.
25 September: As the percentage of USA citizens with tertiary education credentials has gone up, the ability of those citizens to select a quality President has gone down. Hm …
On 22 September, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos rescinds the previous administration’s guidelines for colleges and universities in handling sexual misconduct claims under Title IX and introduced new guidelines in reporting these claims.
22 October: “We have been warned. Repeatedly. We elected Mr Trump and his compatriots anyway. We have not removed them. We have not even made life difficult for them. Hell, we’re making money for them, hand over fist. There is no escape. There is no excuse. This is who we are. All of us. Bumper stickers notwithstanding.”
On 18 October, the Dow Jones Industrial Average stands at 23,157.60.
31 December: “Far as I’m concerned, Kris, we’re all branded – and though most of us think we’re just and fair, the evidence argues that we’re petty, shallow, and mean, especially when you look at what we do outside of our little family groups. The guards at Auschwitz had the same New Years parties as our faculty and students, celebrated with the same sense of personal security and justice. Throughout history, it has taken a calamity, or a disaster, to perform a reset – and, universally, the reset is temporary.”
On 22 December, President Trump retires to Mar-a-Lago for the Christmas holiday. On 28 December, the Dow stands at 24,837.51.