Dude and Dude: Buttons

Dammit, dude! I just don’ get it!”

What don’cha get, dude? OC’s latest rant ’bout global warmin’?”

“Yeah right. I’ll sweat global warmin’ soon’s I c’n take these mittens off.”

“Y’ain’t heard how hot it is ever’place else?”

“‘Ever’place else’ ain’t here, dude. I’m freezin’! Get that?”

“Cain’t hear ya through the earmuffs, dude. So I’ll ask again, what don’cha get? How come the Supreme Court said OK to Obamacare?”

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong wit’ Obamacare that a little community spirit won’t fix.”

You got somethin’ in the fridge b’sides beer?

Champagne, dude. An’ it tastes just like Coca-Cola.”

“How gay, dude. But it don’ answer my question.”

“There ain’t nothin’ to get, dude. The rich don’t want Obamacare ’cause they don’ wanna pay taxes to help out the likes of us, ’cause they think we’re all freeloaders.”

“We’re not?

Dammit, dude, shut up! Ya ain’t helpin’!”

“Same as you, dude! Yer yellin’ out that ya don’ get somethin’ an’ disruptin’ the whole neighborhood. What is it?!?

“These buttons, dude. They’re on backwards an’ they’re drivin’ me nuts.”

What buttons where?

“In the laundry, dude.”

You do laundry? Since when?”

“Dude. Unlike some dudes I know, I wanna walk ’round in my clothes, rather ‘n have them walk me. Not ta mention wantin’ somethin’ other than skunks fer company.”

I ain’t no skunk.”

“Ya sure a that, dude?”

“Yeah, yeah. But dude, ya know where the buttons are on your clothes. Don’cha?”

“I used ta think so, dude, but after tryin’ ta work these things I ain’t sure no more. I gotta think whether it goes this way or that way, an’ half the time now my fingers tell me it’s no way.”

“No way, dude.”

“Wa … cute, dude.”

“Speakin’ a cute, lemme see that … Dude? This is a blouse. These are chick buttons. You got a chick an’ ya didn’t tell me?!?

“Yeah, dude, I got a chick. Her name is Mom.”

“An’ yer doin’ her washin’? Dude, that’s as backwards as the buttons!

“Not when she’s sick it ain’t.”

Damn, dude. Serious?”

“Serious enough, dude, for this freeloader to want that Obamacare online just as soon as we can get Limbaugh an’ the Koch brothers ta stop chirpin’ ’bout it.”


This entry was posted in Dude and Dude, health, humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.