War is not the answer“Well, dude, there goes another.”

“Another what, dude?”

“Another car with a ‘Peace’ bumper sticker on it. Sure are a lot of ’em ’round here. We oughta get one.”

“A car??”

“A ‘Peace’ bumper sticker, dude.”

“Yeah right, dude. Where ya gonna put it? Your forehead?

“Wherever people will see it, dude. We need more peace in the worl … HEY!!

“Hey what?”

“Git yer mits outa my chocolate-covered almonds! What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m hungry. You have food.”

“Which I paid for outa my payperblaugs, which are finally bringing in some dinero, no thanks to you. Who told you you could raid my stash?”

You did.”

“I did not! Go write yer own ads! I oughta smack you.”

“So, dude. ‘Peace’ really means ‘keep your hands offa my stuff’, huh?”


“Tell me somethin’, dude.”


“That car you saw the bumper sticker on. It wasn’t a BMW, was it?”

“Latest model.”

“Uh huh …”

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12 Responses to Peace

  1. Thom says:

    I guess Toyota’s don’t count huh? Peace out…

  2. karen a. says:

    Dude should slap that ‘Peace’ bumper sticker right on Dude’s mouth. Dude was driving what kind of “car” again? I’ve never heard of an “Uh huh …”

    • Amoeba says:

      Now, now, Karen, slapping bumper stickers on to people’s mouths isn’t peaceable. Nor is it practicable, the glue doesn’t stick to wet surfaces. I believe the Dudes drive Wal-Mart Specials. Two of them apiece. One on each foot.

  3. Quilly says:

    Those that have everything they need don’t understand why everybody else can’t be at peace with whatever it is they’ve got.

    • Amoeba says:

      You remind me of a line in the Mel Brooks movie To Be Or Not To Be, Q. The one in which the Brooks character quotes Hitler: “All I want is peace, peace, peace! A little piece of Poland, a little piece of France …”

      • kcinnova says:

        Funny how Mel Brooks nailed it.

        A few years ago, there was a popular bumper sticker in my county: “Don’t Supersize ______ [name of county]” but I laughed when I saw it on the back of a Suburban (owned by a family of 3), along with a “Gore for President” bumper sticker. Environmental awareness?

        • Amoeba says:

          Environmental awareness, Karen? But of course! Everybody else shall scrimp and save and starve so that the planet will survive for me to do whatever I like!

  4. polona says:

    peace is a word almost as frequently abused as love and finding the real thing is a treasure (sorry, dudes, for being out of context)

    • Amoeba says:

      “Dude! She’s out of context? Is that anything like being …”

      No, dude! Now will you stop lookin’ at those pics and close that NSFW site before you get us in trouble?

  5. I’m running out of room for bumper stickers on the back of my car, but you’ve reminded me of Henry’s request for a little peace in the Lion in Winter, when Eleanor answers him:

    ‘A little? Why so modest? How about eternal peace — now there’s a thought.’ Maybe that’s all the drivers have on their minds… especially if they’re talking on the phone, speeding, and eating a Big Mac all at the same time, with hot coffee between their legs, while they’re trying to adjust the radio station —

    (And maybe my marriage would have lasted longer if I didn’t have Eleanor of Aquitaine for a role model…?)

    • Amoeba says:

      I didn’t see The Lion In Winter, Susan. I did read that the historical Eleanor wed one king, divorced him, then married another, then supported his son’s revolt against him. That makes “eternal peace” sound like a Freudian slip. You might get away with it if you’re richer than God, which, I gather, Eleanor was. The rest of us, well …

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