Amoeba’s Lorica: Parimutuel Entertainment

Fran Drescher is the president of the actor’s union. In a fiery speech Thursday, she told the studios, “You cannot exist without us!” – News item

Nor should they.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba reads that the actors in Hollywood have joined the scriptwriters on strike, for higher wages (the millions of dollars they extort from We the People who stupidly pay to watch their shows, and use to fund celebrity divorce cases, clearly being insufficient) and protection against the risk that AI will render them irrelevant.

His response: “Get a job.”

It’s been more than a decade now since YFNA turned off the household TV for the last time. He can not remember the last time that he set foot in a theatre presenting a Hollywood movie, and he does not use streaming services. He is not desensitized to the murder, mayhem, and variously and ingeniously unnatural copulatory activities posing as “romance” that the professional pushers currently sell to us, and a commercially significant (is there any other kind of significance?) percentage of Us line up to buy.

Professional sports were, to YFNA’s lasting shame, the last to go. It finally got through his thick skull that the behavior patterns that, We are told, are necessary for the $ucce$$ful prosecution of a professional sport (NCAA this means you) are utterly inconsistent with the existence of a democratic form of government. Those, YFNA argues, who fervently support professional sports and profess a love of democracy, are lying (perhaps, most significantly, to themselves) about the ‘democracy’ part and may count themselves with Donald Trump Adolph Hitler and his Nazi party, who set out to use the facade of democracy to destroy it, and managed it very nicely, thank you.

It is unclear to this Amoeba that such enemies of democracy should be permitted to participate in it. Not least because the principles that seem to be necessary to generate a marketable sports team, and the corruption and general filth that have become quintessential components of the professional sports world (and the marketing thereof) have thrust their ctulhuian tentacles into the worlds of business and politics. How much democracy does your boss tolerate? And why aren’t you raging against that? (Maybe because you don’t want to go bankrupt, and/or have your society collapse in anarchy around you?)

Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba practices, and here preaches, parimutuel entertainment. The term parimutuel (etymologically, “among ourselves”) is one that derives from horse racing; since there was a track near YFNA’s home during his youth, the term was constantly floating in front of him, and he finally bothered to look it up. In parimutuel betting, the players contribute a pool of funds, and the winners share that pool on completion of the race or other game. In other words, the players are betting against each other, and not against a “house”.

In entertainment terms, the entertainers are drawn from the community, and perform with and for that community, and are not associated with a “house” (Hollywood, a professional sports league, yada).

As members of a community, parimutuel entertainers have incentive to understand and be sensitive to the standards of that community, including matters of content and compensation. Such entertainers, YFNA thinks, should have real jobs, and provide their entertainment as a service to their communities, with sensible compensation for their direct expenses but no expectation that the community will support the kinds of pay that will fund celebrity divorces.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba is aware that his definition of “parimutuel entertainment” is close to that of prehistoric definitions of “amateurism”. He is hopeful that his term will avoid, for at least a short time, the general debasement to which the word “amateurism” has been subjected.

In the same “news” source from which YFNA read about Fran Drescher, he read that there is an effort in the US Congress, with bipartisan support, to declassify government documents about Unidentified Flying Objects.

You see? There is no need in Our society for professional entertainers and their extortionate, dehumanizing demands on Us and Our civilization. The amateurs parimutuel entertainers provide plenty, and We are more than willing to elect them to high office.

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