Amoeba’s Lorica: Our Backwards Nation

Dear Reader,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba, while (as usual) he was supposed to be doing something else, has compiled, for your reading pleasure, a List of the States of this North American Union, together with key attributes for each one, discovered via the University of the Internet.

The List is configured in such a way as to honor, in an appropriate fashion, the future towards which this Union seems inexorably bound, to judge from its repeated lurching from gridlock to chaos and back again, while its people grow hungry or depressed or both, and the infrastructure on which they depend crumbles around them.

Of the 50 states, fully 21 of them have names that begin with the letter A. It is unknown at this writing how many have proposals before their legislatures to change the spelling of their state’s names, so that they may appear closer to the top of the alphabetical list.

You’re welcome.


ADAVEN

A ghost town in Nye County.

ADIROLF

A road in Jacksonville.

AIGROEG

“The meaning of the given name Aigroeg represents ambition, independence, strength, reliability, determination, and professionalism.”

AINAVLYSNNEP

Alas, this aina appears to have gone extinct without trace.

AINIGRIV

An artist’s group.

AINIGRIV TSEW

The above group’s incognito fabric artist auxiliary.

AINROFILAC

An aquatic Wild West world populated by humanoid fish.

AKSALA

Means “whole” in Hindi, “great wealth management” in USA Adspeak.

AKSARBEN

The “Knights of Ak-Sar-Ben” purchased a toll bridge over the Missouri River to, eventually, stop the collection of tolls.

AMABALA

Means “spots” in Zulu. Used as a name for people (strangely, not recorded for dogs), for skin-care products, and for a United States Navy oil tanker during World War 1.

AMOHALKO

Redirected to “armhole” by the Ninjawords dictionary.

ANAIDNI

“There is one exact anagram of ‘anaidni’ in Scrabble.”

ANAISIUOL

“The name Anaisiuol attracts expressiveness, sociability, and agreeableness.”

ANATNOM

“The meaning of the given name Anatnom represents compassion, creativity, reliability, generosity, loyalty and a love for domestic life.”

ANILORAC HTOUS

A sci-fi location, populated by NSFW dwarfs.

ANILORAC HTRON

An empty YouTube channel.

ANOZIRA

Name of a pedigreed attack dog.

ATOKAD HTOUS

Gets as much respect from the internet as its First Nations inhabitants get from its European squatters.

ATOKAD HTRON

See above. Though data are sparse, the Akotads were probably split because of political gerrymandering.

ATOSENNIM

Seriously tries to hide in a corner on Flag Day.

AWOI

American War of Independence.

DNALSI EDOHR

He was an Elf.” No further details available.

DNALYRAM

“A random rearrangement of the letters will give ‘Amdlaryn.'”

EESSENNET

One of nine answers to a math question.

ENIAM

A branch of the State Bank of India.

ERAWALED

NSFW.

ERIHSPMAHWEN

Play it, Sam.

GNIMOYW

A gardener in Vancouver, British Columbia. Apparently composted in July 2018.

HATU

1-[Bis(dimethylamino)methylene]-1H-1,2,3-triazolo[4,5-b]pyridinium 3-oxide hexafluorophosphate. Presence in saline lakes or on salt flats unattested.

IIAWAH

A work of … something … (sick seagulls?!?).

IPPISSISSIM

Deep South variant of New England ‘wicked pissah‘.

IRUOSSIM

“A random rearrangement of the letters will give ‘Ioirumss.'”

KROYWEN

A trademarked clothing brand. A hip-hop artist in … wait for it … Orlando.

NAGIHCIM

An npc nation in the first Mikon, and the main antagonist of the very first Mikon archipelago wars.

NISNOCSIW

Artwork. Ink on paper (that’s what it looks like, anyway), 2001.

NOGERO

1981 album by Polish jazz ensemble Laboratorium.

NOTGNIHSAW

A legendary culture hero of the poorly-understood Nacirema society.

OCIXEMWEN

Wen the artist runs out of ideas.

ODAROLOC

A sled dog team.

OHADI

Iranian surname. Persons with this surname unlikely to be found in Boise.

OIHO

An open invitation to snark from Michigan.

SASNAK

Being from a rural area while exhibiting qualities connoting ultra-urban hipsterism. Used primarily in Brooklyn.”

SASNAKRA

A “Blood Elf Havoc Demon Hunter” in World of Warcraft. A miniscule nation in the NationStates universe.

SAXET

A miniature saxophone, even less playable than the full-sized versions. Ghost town in Shelby County. Word meaning “completely backwards, lacking in common sense“.

SIONILLI

“The Land of Perpetual Youth.” Substantiation of claim unavailable, though it may explain voter behavior in the State.

STTESUHCASSAM

What you see in the rear view mirror after you decide you’re not making it there.

TNOMREV

“A random rearrangement of the letters will give ‘Mretvno.'”

TUCITCENNOC

A failed New England casino.

YESREJWEN

But Syd no wen.

YKCUTNEK

The most dangerous state in the Union, Mitch.

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3 Responses to Amoeba’s Lorica: Our Backwards Nation

  1. Tora says:

    Ingenious enjoyed the read…
    thanks

  2. Nathalie says:

    Fabulous. The link I learned the most from had this in it:
    wicked pissah (comparative more wicked pissah, superlative most wicked pissah)

    • Amoeba says:

      Hm. Nathalie, that must have come from a grammarian on COVID lockdown and going stir crazy. A true Yankee will tell you, if dey bothers, that “wicked pissah” is already a superlative, and if you think otherwise, you must be from away.

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