Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba, while (as usual) he was supposed to be doing something else, has compiled, for your reading pleasure, a List of the States of this North American Union, together with key attributes for each one, discovered via the University of the Internet.
The List is configured in such a way as to honor, in an appropriate fashion, the future towards which this Union seems inexorably bound, to judge from its repeated lurching from gridlock to chaos and back again, while its people grow hungry or depressed or both, and the infrastructure on which they depend crumbles around them.
Of the 50 states, fully 21 of them have names that begin with the letter A. It is unknown at this writing how many have proposals before their legislatures to change the spelling of their state’s names, so that they may appear closer to the top of the alphabetical list.
“The meaning of the given name Aigroeg represents ambition, independence, strength, reliability, determination, and professionalism.”
Alas, this aina appears to have gone extinct without trace.
An artist’s group.
The above group’s incognito fabric artist auxiliary.
The “Knights of Ak-Sar-Ben” purchased a toll bridge over the Missouri River to, eventually, stop the collection of tolls.
Redirected to “armhole” by the Ninjawords dictionary.
“There is one exact anagram of ‘anaidni’ in Scrabble.”
“The name Anaisiuol attracts expressiveness, sociability, and agreeableness.”
“The meaning of the given name Anatnom represents compassion, creativity, reliability, generosity, loyalty and a love for domestic life.”
Name of a pedigreed attack dog.
Gets as much respect from the internet as its First Nations inhabitants get from its European squatters.
See above. Though data are sparse, the Atokads were probably split because of political gerrymandering.
Seriously tries to hide in a corner on Flag Day.
American War of Independence.
“He was an Elf.” No further details available.
“A random rearrangement of the letters will give ‘Amdlaryn.'”
One of nine answers to a math question.
A branch of the State Bank of India.
A gardener in Vancouver, British Columbia. Apparently composted in July 2018.
1-[Bis(dimethylamino)methylene]-1H-1,2,3-triazolo[4,5-b]pyridinium 3-oxide hexafluorophosphate. Presence in saline lakes or on salt flats unattested.
A work of … something … (sick seagulls?!?).
Deep South variant of New England ‘wicked pissah‘.
“A random rearrangement of the letters will give ‘Ioirumss.'”
A trademarked clothing brand. A hip-hop artist in – wait for it – Orlando.
An npc nation in the first Mikon, and the main antagonist of the very first Mikon archipelago wars.
Artwork. Ink on paper (that’s what it looks like, anyway), 2001.
1981 album by Polish jazz ensemble Laboratorium.
A legendary culture hero of the poorly-understood Nacirema society.
Iranian surname. Persons with this surname unlikely to be found in Boise.
An open invitation to snark from Michigan.
“Being from a rural area while exhibiting qualities connoting ultra-urban hipsterism. Used primarily in Brooklyn.”
“The Land of Perpetual Youth.” Substantiation of claim unavailable, though it may explain voter behavior in the State.
What you see in the rear view mirror after you decide you’re not making it there.
“A random rearrangement of the letters will give ‘Mretvno.'”
A failed New England casino.
But Syd no wen.
The most dangerous state in the Union, Mitch.