TSA Jack: If You See Something, …


“What’s ‘aaarrrghh’, Miguel?”

“Ain’t ya noticed, Jack? Oh, and hi.”

Cute, Miguel. Real cute. Maybe I gotta pay more attention ta you.”

“Don’t go outa yer way, Jack. I already got all the tension I need.”

“Yeah. Like I said.”

“Nah, like I said.”

“Which was?”


“About what?

“All these passengers comin’ up ta me in the scanner line an’ sayin’ somethin’.”

“Yeah? Yeah?!? Ain’t that what we’re teachin’ these people? ‘If ya see something, say something’? So what’re they sayin’?!?


“Somethin’ what?!?

“Somethin’ nothin’. Just somethin’.”


“No fair takin’ my line, Jack.”

“Miguel, we need ta know where ta send the squad. What are these people sayin’?!?


What somethin’?!?”

“That’s it, Jack. Somethin’. That’s all they say.”

“Just that one word? Somethin’?”

“Ya figure out yet why they’re drivin’ me crazy?

“Sounds like a conspiracy to me, Miguel.”

Really, Jack. What the hell would we know ’bout no conspiracies?”

“Well, we gotta get ta the bottom o’ this one. Never thought it’d happen on my watch. Wonder what’s goin’ down, an’ is this a real red alert …?”

¡Ai caramba! I think I got it …”


“Look at the ad over that shop, Jack.”

“Hmm … ‘Something special in the air’.”

“‘If you see ‘something’ …”

“Say ‘Something’. Oh my f….”


“Thanks, Miguel. An’ now if ya’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go have a word with the manager o’ that shop.”

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