Dude and Dude: Websurfing Under the Influence

Dammit, dude, I don’ believe it! No beer in tha fridge. Again! What’s tha matter wit’ ya?!?”

“I tol’ ya already. I ain’t buyin’ none. I can’t let ya have no more WUIs.”

“Double you you whats?!?

“WUIs. Like on that banner up there. Ya guzzle tha brewski, I can’t let ya onta tha Web. Period. Not wit’out a designated surfer.”


spiderwebs made under the influence of various drugsLook, dude. If’n ya can’t let a spider onta tha web after imbibin’, wit’out it muckin’ things up, what chance have you got?”

“I could dress up in a Spidey suit an’ try!

“Dude, trust me, yer kind a six pack ain’t gonna sell no comic books.”

Hey. All them pics show what happens ta spiders on drugs. I don’ see no booze pics.”

“Nice dodge, dude, but no points. It’s been done. Same answer.”

“Dude, what’re ya tryin’ ta do ta me, huh? By yer logic, ain’t nobody oughta go near tha internet wit’ a cup a coffee in his hand. That caffeinated spider didn’t make a web, it made a traffic jam! But ya got any clue how many peeps ‘re mainlinin’ tha stuff while they’re surfin’? An’ wit’out crashin’ tha system?”

“An’ just where d’ya think internet trolls come from? Afore they dump tha coffee on their keyboards an’ flame out.”

“I know a dude who’s gonna get flamed if’n he keeps on like this. Accordin’ ta you, there ain’t nothin’ a dude can take. Though weed does come close. Thank goodness. Otherwise this could all get real boooorrrin’, like.”

“Yeah, dude, the stoned spider does start off well, but it loses focus an’ wanders off afore it finishes.”

“Are you tryin’ ta tell me that, just ’cause I toke ever’ once in awhile, that I can’t … can’t … what were we talkin’ about again?”

“Yer designated surfer, dude.”

“Can’t I get a designated surfer chick?

“Maybe at the farm, dude. One that clucks!

“Dude …”

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2 Responses to Dude and Dude: Websurfing Under the Influence

  1. Quilly says:

    Sounds to me like Dude was under the influence of OC.

  2. Nathalie says:

    Ya think?

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