Amoeba’s Lorica: Exercise Routine

Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba has had technical difficulties lately, and hence hasn’t been posting. With luck, the tech has been fixed, and the beatings posts can resume. Stop groaning. It’s bad for morale. You’d think we were trying to survive a global pandemic or something.


“Man, I can’t wait for this COVID-19 disease stuff to be over already! I haven’t been to the gym in ages! My abs are getting flabby!”

“I feel ya, brother. It’s been tough for everybody, we do what we can, it’s all we can do really. Had a chance to drive by yer place yesterday. You’ve really got a nice spread.”

“Yeah, we got it just before the housing market went bazowie. Great view, OK neighbors, sick internet. I guess the pandemic hasn’t been all bad for us.”

“Gotta be a lot of work to keep that place lookin’ shipshape.”

“Yeah, but we got a great deal on housekeepers and gardeners. Friends recommended them. Good work, they follow all the protocols, price is a little high, but what isn’t these days?”

“I … see. Fire ’em.”

“… whut?”

“Ya heard me. Fire ’em. Do yer own housework an’ gardening. You’ll get yer sixpack back in no time.”

“…. uh …”

“And I saw that fancy car in yer driveway. Sell it. Walk or bike where ya gotta go. Inside of six months, you’ll be winnin’ marathons.”

Are you freaking out of your mind?!?


Exercise programs have nothing to do with the fitness of the body, and everything to do with the fitness of the bragging rights.

This entry was posted in Amoeba's Lorica, current events, humor, satire, We the People and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Amoeba’s Lorica: Exercise Routine

  1. Tora says:

    Ha
    Nice to see you back
    Missed you

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