TSA Jack: Celebratin’ Your Preferences

“Hi, J…”


Dammit, Jack, you just no fun no more. If it no for the dividend checks …”

“So what part a ‘no jokes on duty’ don’t ya get, Juan? Y’want the checks ta keep comin’, follow tha rules.”

Si, si, Jack, I do what it takes to keep ’em comin’. Nice checks. You got somethin’ nuevo?”

“Jeez. Is everybody on this crew a Pinocchio?”


“‘Cause ya all got big noses.”

“Yeah? Well, we no puppets, gringo.”

“Ya sure about that? Awright, awright. Just remember I got ears, hombre.”

“I remember, Jack.”

“So we’ve got the terminals pretty much locked down. We’re expandin’ onta the planes. Ya know the vid screens they’re buildin’ inta the backs a all the seats now?”

“Yeah. You buy TV, you buy movies. But not everybody buy.”

“Right. So we run ads on ’em. Captive audience. Sweet income source.”

“Like the ads in the tray liners that you put your laptops an’ sneakers on in the line, si? But don’t everybody just turn the screens off?”

“Ya’d be surprised how many don’t, Juan. An’ who says we gotta let anybody turn ’em off?”

¡Ai! We can do that?”

“We’re doin’ trial runs now. Runnin’ ads after the safety vid, the one that tells ya ta buckle your seat belt an’ stuff. Ya see an’ hear ’em or else. If that flies …”


Ka-CHING is right, hombre.”

“Yeah … but …”

“But what?

“How long we keep this goin’, huh? How many terrorists we catch? Billions of dollars an’ no fish in the net.”

“Juan. Don’t be a bigger dope than ya can help. We ain’t caught nobody, an’ we ain’t gonna. Yer a terrorist, ya don’t storm a guarded gate. Ya look for one that no one’s watchin’.”

“So how we gonna win? Throw mucho bucks at every chink in the wall?”

“Not our problem, Juan. We only gotta pay attention ta this one. An’ make everythin’ we can outa doin’ so, while we can.”

“OK …”

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1 Response to TSA Jack: Celebratin’ Your Preferences

  1. Quilly says:

    For some strange reason I want to buy a Lincoln MKZ Hybrid …..

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