Dude and Dude: Stormy Weather

“Hey, dude! Where the hell are ya?”

“Don’t have a cow, dude, I’m … What the …??

“You gonna help me with this stuff, or what?”

“You don’t need me, dude, you need the National Guard. You leave anything for the tourists? Sheesh. Flashlights, pocket radios, batteries, canned fruit, canned vegetables, canned Spam … canned Spam?!? That’s too much, dude, I’m calling the clinic.”

“Not until after we’ve got this stuff stowed.”

“For why, dude? I also want to know, like, where, in this plain ordinary million-bucks-a-square-centimetre Honolulu apartment, but let’s do the first question first.”

“You ain’t heard about the hurricane?”

“The Hawai‘i football coach teed off on the University of Miami program too? Wasn’t the Notre Dame snafu bad enough?

“He’s got just as much aloha as everyone else around here. He made the mistake of being honest about it for five seconds and got caught. But screw football. I’m worried about staying alive.”

“Man, that’s heavy. Did you get conked on the head surfing?”

“That’s your department, dude. Remember when we were first here, out on the leeward side of O‘ahu, and the winds blew for a few hours?”

“Do I ever, dude. Roads blocked, no one going in or out, and no electricity for days. My thumbs are still going through withdrawal.”

“Right. Generator. I knew there was something else on the list.”

“For the Wii?”

“For the freezer. Dude. Unless you care to eat Spam for the next month.”

“The next month??!?

“Yeah, dude. The last time a big hurricane blew through here, the people who got power back in a month counted themselves lucky.”

“But, dude, that was, like, before you were born. These hurricane thingys usually go poof long before they get to Hawai‘i, don’t they?”

“Usually, yeah. But this is an El Nino year. Warmer water around Hawai‘i, and different wind patterns. It was also an El Nino year when Hurricane Iniki hit. You ever in the Boy Scouts?”

“Um, no. More like the Boy Nintendos.”

“Well, you can pretend now. ‘Cause we’re going to be prepared for this storm. And if it don’t come, well, maybe we can interest some tourists in native Hawai‘ian cuisine.”

“Y’mean, the Spam?”

Ssssssh!!

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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