Dude and Dude: Not Gleanin’ Up

no steal recycle“But du-UUUUDE! I wasn’t gonna steal the HI 5! I was gonna redeem it!”

“So much for rollin’ the shoppin’ cart through the complex, dude.”

What shoppin’ cart? They got locks on ’em! Ya leave the parkin’ lot an’ the wheels seize up on ya! Y’gotta lug yer bags now. How ya s’posed ta keep a sack a aluminum cans quiet at 2 AM if ya don’t got a cart ta keep ’em in? Huh?”

“What ya askin’ me fer? I dunno!”

“Tell ya somethin’ I dunno. Why do these people care? They got money ‘r they wouldn’t be livin’ in places like this. They threw the stuff away, fer cryin’ out loud! What they got ‘gainst us havin’ it?”

“Saves a few bucks off the condo association fees if they get the deposits ‘stead a us. I guess.”

“An’ they don’t like bein’ reminded that not ever’body’s got fat wallets like they do?”

“That’s how come they got gates. Ain’t it?”

“Well, dude, what’re we gonna do now?

“Go fishin’?”

“Sure. Go up an’ pay for the license, yeah?”

“Uh … get a job?”

“Ya got experience an’ references?

“I told ya not ta put yer hopes in that payperblaug stuff, dude! Find a shelter?”

“They’re full, dude!”

“Yer just all joy an’ sunshine taday, dude.”

“Hunger an’ thirst’ll do that to a dude, dude.”

“Well, I suppose we can ask OC for help.”

“What would he do?”

“Command-X us an’ put us outa our misery?


“Whatever, dude.”

*     *     *     *

When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very edges of your field, or gather the gleanings of your harvest. You shall not strip your vineyard bare, or gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the alien … – Leviticus 19: 9-10a (NRSV)

This entry was posted in Dude and Dude, satire and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Dude and Dude: Not Gleanin’ Up

  1. quilly says:

    Do the well-to-do even admit that Hawaii has poor and homeless?

Comments are closed.