Amoeba’s Lorica: One Fine Day Backstage

Overheard during rehearsals for an orchestral concert in Hawaiʻi Nei:


Female voice: “Anyone know the score?”

Male voice: “For which work? The Beethoven? The Mozart? The Sibelius?”

F: “The NFL! There’s a playoff game going on right now, and I want to know the score!”

M: “Yeah, I’ll give you the score. How many safeties are we going to kill today?”

F: “I beg your …”

M: “Not a chance. I don’t suppose you’ve ever heard of the white feather brigades.”

F: “No …”

White Feather - Downton AbbeyM: “Figures. The White Feather brigades were women who paraded through England during World War 1, handing out white feathers to young, apparently healthy men who had committed the sin of not yet having been machinegunned, or blown to bits by artillery, or drowned in the trenches of World War 1 as an alternative to dying of louse-borne typhus. Basically accusing these men of having a lick of sense – which, in your language, is spelled c-o-w-a-r-d-i-c-e.”

F: “What does this have to do …”

M: “Just this, woman. I look forward to the day when men wake up and refuse to be expendable for your entertainment!”

Stage Hand: “All orchestra members on stage for the Mozart concerto!”

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