Reg and Syd: The News at Easter

Reg and Syd, two [ahem] satirical gentlemen of means, made their blogatorial debut in October 2009. Then, as now, they were discussing the events of the day at their waterfront club


“Ah, Syd, the stratagem progresses well. How very gratifying.”

“I’d propose a toast, Reg, but the champagne hasn’t arrived yet. Horrible service today. You’d think it was a holiday or something.”

“Well, if our media boys continue to do their work as they have been, we won’t have to worry about that much longer. You haven’t heard a word about the Pope’s actual Easter message, have you?”

“Not one. Not a sentence that has ‘Pope’ in it that doesn’t also have ‘scandal’.”

“Perfect. With the Catholics labeled ‘perverts’ and the Protestants ‘freaks’, soon Easter will be history, and the field will be cleared for our business interests.”

“I do find it hard to figure out, Reg, just how many of these pedophile priests there really are.”

“Sydney, you know that answer as well as I do. Very few. But it’s greater than zero, which is all we require for our purposes. We tell people about the ones we know about, and let their imaginations work. And if their imaginings come up with a number that’s, um, somewhat larger than the real one, all the better for us.”

“Indeed. The bigger the problem looks, the more people will leave the church because of it.”

“Right. And churches are just about the last things in society that induce a person to think of someone other than ‘me’. Which is bad for business. When we make churches look bad, we split individuals away from them.”

“And an individual will be thinking how to do better for himself. And when he does, we sell more stuff! Which means we can pay for all the champagne we want.”

“Right now, it’s beginning to look like we can’t pay for champagne at this club. Call the maitre d’ over, will you, Syd, and get him to find our waiter. And fire him, even if he offers some cock’n’bull excuse for his laziness, like going to an Easter Sunrise Service. Hell, especially if he was wasting energy at a Sunrise Service that he should have been conserving to serve us.”

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0 Responses to Reg and Syd: The News at Easter

  1. Wray says:

    It’s scary how true that might actually be.
    how the monied interests are controlling the world.

  2. WHere, O where has Punny Monday gone?
    Where, O where can it be?
    It’s always such fun
    To guess what’s the pun,
    O bring back P. Monday to me!

  3. polona says:

    i suppose my view differs largely from yours but i really think the church (roman-catholic in particular) deserves everything thrown its way. they got away with too many crimes in the past. having said this, i’m talking about the institution, not the faith.

  4. tilden says:

    have you ever seen” trading places”?
    probably not since you never put the tv on

  5. kcinnova says:

    While I agree that there is something/someone afoot in all that has transpired in the media, it is very important to remember that what is being discussed is a REAL problem with REAL victims and REAL perpetrators.
    The institution has covered up the problem which is rightly being brought to the forefront.

  6. Nessa says:

    Oh, no, not another conspiracy theory?

  7. I’m lovin’ it.

    (your wit and insight, of course, not our corporate overlords)