Kris an’ Murphy: For Whom the Ward Spells

Out on the road today I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said
Don’t look back, you can never look back

Murphy: “So we’re supposed to look forward instead?”

Kris: “That’s the general idea. Focus on what you’re doing and what you’re planning to do, and you’ll have a better shot at carrying on than if you’re focusing on what you did … or didn’t. At least, that’s what they keep telling us at the annual motivational sessions.”

Murphy: “The annual mandatory faculty pep rally. Argh. Don’t remind me. I don’t see how it can be done.”

Kris: “Ah, c’mon, Murphy! You can’t pull this on me after being Mr. Bright Eyes not two weeks ago! Yeah, I know the students are no brighter or motivated than we thought they would be, and neither is what’s left of the Federal government, but it’s not all gloom and doom yet! Is it?”

Murphy: “Who said anything about gloom and doom? I said ‘I don’t see how it can be done.’ Look at that word ‘forward’ and tell me how!”

Kris: “… whut?”

Murphy: “C’mon yourself. How do you say the word? One of two ways. It’s either ‘fOArwOArd’ or ‘fOArwERRrd’, yes? You try to say ‘fOArwAIRd, people are going to look at you funny. Or, funnier than they already do, given that we’re professors and all that. So, if the word’s spelled forwOrd or forwErd, I’m good to go. ForwArd, no chance.”

Kris: “Murphy?”

Murphy: “Yes?”

Kris: “How many feisty beige heifers have you been heinously seizing while I’ve been trying to teach classes?!?”

Murphy: “And another thing. Why is it always forward? If for is good, wouldn’t five be better? Or six, or ten, or 27? Hell, maybe if we were always looking twentysevenward, or -word or -werd or whatever, we’d all live forever maybe?”

Kris: “Twentysevenever.”

Murphy: “Touché. Now what are you doing?”

Kris: “Casting pentangles. What does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to ward off whatever it is you’ve gotten into. Don’t make me wield my vine wand.”

Murphy: “Not even to order our drinks?”

Kris: “I’m not sure the servers wish to get anywhere near us. But I suppose I can try.”

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2 Responses to Kris an’ Murphy: For Whom the Ward Spells

  1. quilly says:

    I should have known. You ARE Murphy. I am doomed.

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