He and She: Cs the Day

She: “I before E except after C has been disproved by science!

He: “Say what?”

She: “I said, ‘I before E except after C has been disproved by science!!‘”

He:What science?”

She: “How should I know? I’m not the scientist here, now am I?”

He: “Yeah, well, I can always hope that even the Secret Society of English Majors will someday learn to master the inclusion of specifics in their statements. Open browser window. Copy. Paste. Enter. And The Facts Are Revealed.”

She: “Wow. That many words break the rule?”

He: “Actually, no.”

She: “Bah. So much for …”

He: “There are more than that.”

She:How many more?”

He: “Don’t know, chicka didn’t say. Guess her science hasn’t advanced to Big Data.”

She: “I’d check on that if I could, but I can’t right now. I can’t get into my office.”

He: “I’m sorry. Where are the keys?”

She: “I usually keep them right here. But they’re gone now. I hope that doesn’t mean they’ve been stolen!

He: “Waitaminute. You don’t have an office.”

She: “I do so! Use it every day! Or at least I did. I’d better get it back soon, or I’m going to be in trouble. Which I’ll be glad to pass on to whoever swiped the keys, trust me. Watch out, whosis, because I will find you. You have my word.”

He: “Hm. I am unconvinced of the excellence of that sentiment.”

She: “You might be very convinced of it if you had my outlook!”

He: “OK, that thought has some power. Point taken.”

She:Exactly! If only we had a publisher for all this.”

He: “Sorry. No access.”

She: “I know that already!! I am not a happy dwarf!”

He: “More like a grumpy one.”

She: “Well, I guess I’ve got company. Research shows that six out of seven dwarves are not happy!”

He: “It does not. That research is bogus!

She: “It’s as pure as the driven snow!

He: “Yeah, thanks to the Hays Code. Otherwise, you might have had seven happy dwarFs, instead of just one. None of Tolkien’s dwarVEs was happy, though Gimli confessed to being slightly amused on occasion, usually in proportion to the number of orc necks hewed.”

She: “Wasn’t Middle-earth supposed to be flat?”

He: “It was. Until this idiot human king got it into his head that he could live forever if he successfully invaded and conquered Heaven. That failed miserably, and Heaven permanently barricaded the path by making the world round.”

She: “Then it’s true!

He: “I hesitate to ask …”

She: “The only thing a flat earther has to fear is sphere itself!”

He: “Right. You can close your Facebook now.”

She: “Aw!”

This entry was posted in He and She, humor, language and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to He and She: Cs the Day

  1. Tora says:

    Efficient

  2. Nathalie says:

    Society is not really for this.

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