He and She: Frog Wars

Coqui! Coqui!

She: “Hear that?”

He: “Yep. Rain last night. A peeper tonight.”

She: “A peeper? That’s all you heard?”

He: “… whut?”

She: “You didn’t hear the loud crash?”

He: “Um, no …”

She: “Or the screaming?”

He:Please tell me you haven’t been watching sensationalist videos of the volcano!

She: “I have not! The crash is the sound of collapsing property values in this neighborhood, because somebody heard a coqui frog! And the screaming is from the property owners: Kill the coqui!

He: “Riiight. So all the ‘hood’s horses and all the ‘hood’s men are going on a search and destroy mission against a single critter that’s the size of a penny, hiding under tons of leaves and litter somewhere in acres of ground, and is a master ventriloquist to boot. I’m not liking their chances. And even if they do find something, how’re they going to know if it’s the correct thing? Look at the picture again. Do you see any red on this frog?”

She: “No. What does …?”

He: “‘Course not. If anything, it’s got flecks of blue. Doesn’t that make it a pepsiqui?

She: “O .. my …”

He:Doesn’t it? How can it be a cokequi without any red on it? Marketing fail! And surely you can’t have expected that Pepsi would allow Coke to establish a peeper monopoly on Hawai‘i Island without trying to do something to bust it!”

She:Harrumpfh! If I didn’t know you better, I’d be accusing you of not getting your coke from sugar water.”

He: “Don’t go there! The last thing we need on this island right now is a turf war between the methquis and the gangaquis!”

She: “Uh huh. I think I know what the qui to this conversation is now.”

He: “What’s that?”

She:It’s past your bedtime!

This entry was posted in Hawai'i, He and She, humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to He and She: Frog Wars

  1. Charlene says:

    Kooqui, beloved. Definitely kooqui.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.