Amoeba’s Lorica: AmerExit

In the aftermath of the June 2016 vote by citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland to leave the European Union (the “Brexit” vote), Your Friendly Neighborhood Amoeba has heard increasing noise from other persons and groups urging that their countries leave the EU – potentially leading, sooner or later, to the dissolution of the EU, and the resumption of wars, petty and grand, among its states. The USA is also a union of states (YFNA pauses briefly while the millennials do a websearch on “United States of America” and attempt to parse the meaning of the phrase). Given the emotions (“issues” are no longer relevant, if indeed they ever were) driving both the Brexit vote and the current US election cycle, YFNA wonders, not exactly by himself, what would happen if the Brexit phenomenon took hold in North America north of Mexico and south (more or less) of Canada …

Map of the "USA" after a Brexit-like vote to repeal the Constitution and break up the Union.

WASHINGTON, MIDATLANTICA (API): Today, on the veranda of the Custis-Lee Mansion, overlooking the Custis-Lee Estates, formerly the site of the Arlington National Cemetery, political leaders gathered to announce formally the repeal of the Constitution of the United States of America. The repeal was announced exactly three years from the date of a referendum, in which citizens demanded home rule, and full nationhood, for each of the States formerly governed under that Constitution. All elected and appointed officials of the Executive, Legislative, and Judicial branches of the former United States government were present, and formally handed over their authority to the leaders of the several States. Many were in tears as they relinquished the symbols of their offices, ending an experiment in nation-building that had survived nearly 250 years.

The former District of Columbia immediately reverted to Maryland control, and that state, together with most of eastern Virginia, pledged allegiance to a MidAtlantic Confederacy with its capital in Philadelphia. Similar Confederacies were immediately proclaimed (alphabetical order, capital cities in parentheses):

     * Cascadia (Seattle)

     * Chicago Union (Chicago)

     * Heartland Nation (Kansas City)

     * LaLaLand (Los Angeles)

     * Midatlantica (Philadelphia)

     * New England Union (Boston)

     * SRA Confederate States of America (Charleston)

New York City, Texas, and Hawai`i proclaimed their full independence.

Boundaries among these nations, despite three years of intense negotiations, remain unsettled in several areas.

New York City moved immediately after the referendum to achieve annexation of territories encompassed by its commuter rail, highway, and Yankee fan networks, creating a greatly-expanded Big Apple City State. This move was hotly contested by the New England Union and Midatlantica, both of which lost valuable territory, and tensions among these nations are high. Negotiations over trade and travel along the former Boston-Washington Corridor quickly reached an impasse, and have remained stalled.

Tejas, miffed at the vote by Oklahoma citizens to ally with the Heartland Nation rather than itself, was massing troops in preparation for a forceful takeover – a move the Heartland was mobilizing forces to counter.

The armed forces of LaLaLand and Cascadia were reportedly on alert and preparing to wage war over control of San Francisco. Both nations were confronted with the prospect of two-front wars, as LaLaLand prepared to contest Heartland Nation over the vitally-important Colorado River watershed, while Cascadia attempted to expand its borders north to the Alaska Peninsula (annexing coastal British Columbia) as well as south to the Monterey Peninsula.

The status of Alaska remains unresolved. It had petitioned to join the Heartland Nation, on condition that it build a wall through the Bering Strait to ward off annexation of the State by Russia, plus supply military forces to protect the Peninsula from Cascadia, but the President Ruler of the Heartlands, Donald Trump, rejected the petition on grounds of insufficient funds (most of Mr Trump’s assets having been seized by the Big Apple City State), and territorial matters closer to home (Colorado River and Oklahoma), thus reportedly reneging on an earlier promise.

The impacts of the political turmoil on the populations of these nations have been substantial.

The restored Kingdom of Hawai`i immediately moved to expel all former United States citizens who did not pledge loyalty to the Hawaiian monarch and renounce allegiance to any other nation spun off from the USA. It also pledged to seek favored-nation status with Japan, in trade and other matters, and planned to replace English with Japanese as the second official language (after Hawaiian) within ten years.

In Tejas, which has moved its capital to Dallas, rumors abound that concentration camps are being constructed to ‘house’ its undesirables, including blacks, Mexicans, Muslims, and residents of Austin, who are being blamed for the loss of Oklahoma. Citizens of the former Arizona are reportedly monitoring the Tejas developments, and planning to urge that the Heartland Nation adopt similar policies, especially in the ‘weak sister’ communities found in the former Colorado and New Mexico. Guerrilla resistance movements, funded by cannabis sales, have reputedly sprung up in these areas. The SRA Confederate States of America has reenacted the segregationist laws of the historical CSA; both Tejas and the Heartland Nation are tracking developments closely and are comparing the results with those anticipated from their own actions and proposals. Would-be refugees from the CSA, Heartland Nation, and Tejas have found that the borders to the other former USA states are firmly closed against them.

The situation remains extremely fluid. Stay logged in to API, Amoeba Press International, for news as we invent it as it happens.

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One Response to Amoeba’s Lorica: AmerExit

  1. Quilly says:

    Love, one hopes you don’t turn out to be a prophet.

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