Dude and Dude: Velocivendor

“… say whut?”

“Don’ look at me, dude. Yer tha one what talks wit’ OC alla tha time. If’n you dunno what he’s talkin’ about, I ain’t got a hope in hell!”

“Well, dude, if’n ya did, ya’d be tha first.”

“Not plannin’ on testin’ that any time soon.”

“Then maybe ya don’ wanna be dissin’ tha dude what can command-X ya, yeah?”

Control-X! An’ hey, OC’s alright.”

“Gee, dude, ya reckon?”

“He jus’ seems a little weird sometimes, ya feel me? So weren’t we goin’ ta that movin’ sale y’wuz talkin’ about awhile ago?”

hand-drawn moving sale sign“Yeah, if’n yer done tryin’ ta get us virtually eliminated. We could use some gear fer tha pad, an’ sometimes y’c’n pick up some gnarly stuff cheap, like.”

“Cool. So where is it?”

“I told ya that a’ready, dude, couple a hours ago. Like, six times!

‘Xactly, dude. That wuz where it wuz a couple hours ago. Where is it now? We want any a that gnarly stuff, we gotta catch up wit’ it!”

“Dude …”

“Don’ ‘dude’ me, dude! It’s a movin’ sale. Sign sez so. If’n we last knew where it was a couple hours ago, well now it could be almost anyplace on this island. An’ it’s gonna be a pain tryin’ ta find it. Ya sapose we could go to its last known address an’ see if any peeps can give us, like, directions?

“Yeah. Like mainly ta that place ya jus’ said ya didn’t wanna visit any time soon. ‘Specially if’n ya wuz ta get it inta yer blockhead ta lecture ’em ’bout havin’ a stationary sale.”

“No chance a that, dude.”

“Glad ta hear it …”

“… it’s tha computer age, dude. No one uses paper no more!”

“[…] Do so!”

“Do not.”

“Do do, dodo. Ya gotta paper anythin’ even halfway decent on tha TV, these days.”

“Is that how come ya got our TV locked up?”

“Yeah. Ever since they jacked up tha price fer lookin’ at, ah, swimsuit vids. Talk ’bout wantin’ somethin’ fer nothin’.”

“That kinda d’pends on what ya mean by nothin’, huh dude?”

Nothin’ is what’s left over fer rent an’ food if’n I let ya onta tha TV fer swimsuits. C’mon. Let’s go see if’n that movin’ sale’s got anythin’ useful. An’ I’m bettin’ it’ll be right where it was.”

“They got back a’ready? Wow. They musta moved fast!

“Let’s just hope their good stuff ain’t moved that fast.”

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2 Responses to Dude and Dude: Velocivendor

  1. Quilly says:

    I’m totally with dude. Those moving sales are a pain. I don’t even bother to try to find them anymore. Stationary sales, either, for that matter. Who wants someone’s used paper and pens? I go to Office Max and buy mine new!

  2. Karen says:

    Don’t go there…

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