Kris an’ Murphy: The Time It Is A’Changin’

Harold Lloyd (Safety Last) falls back to standard timeKris: “Well, Murphy, here’s to falling back.”

Murphy:Another bad Faculty Senate outcome? What miserable policy option are we falling back on this time?”

Kris: “Please, Murphy. It’s Friday evening. Let the hallowed halls hallow themselves until Monday. At least.”

Murphy: “Argh. Monday.”

Kris: “Why? What’s so wrong with … Oh, right. That Comparative Religions class.”

Murphy: “With lecture at 8 on Monday morning.”

Kris: “Seven.”

Murphy:What?!?

Kris: “Seven. Like I said. Here’s to falling back.”

Murphy: “Daylight Saving Time done already?

Kris: “What’s ‘already’? I’m sitting here trying to work out how you can call something that’s only in place for four months out of the year ‘Standard’ time.”

Murphy: “I can fix that. Easily. Parallel structure and everything.”

Kris: “Hm?”

Murphy: “Daylight Losing Time!”

a longer blanketKris: “Never sell. No one’s going to go out of their way to remind folk that they’re ‘losing’ anything. Or that anyone who thinks they can get a longer day out of chopping an hour from its beginning and adding it to the end is really a fool.”

Murphy: “Or an academic?”

Kris: “There’s a difference?”

Murphy: “I got minutes from the last seventeen Faculty Senate meetings that say there isn’t.”

Kris: “Word.”

Murphy: “So can’t we get off this treadmill? Having to change your clocks twice a year for this ‘saving time’ nonsense is a pain, even if an increasing number of your clocks and devices do the changing for you. You always miss one, and it’s that one that will make you late for a class.”

Kris: “We can, you know. Hell, we can get rid of the whole time zone thing while we’re at it.”

Murphy: “Yeah? How?”

Kris: “Everybody goes back to local solar time. Wherever you are, your noon will always be high noon. Not 1:30 PM or whenever your time zone, with or without daylight saving time, says it is. Your body will thank your for it.”

Murphy: “So I’d have to calculate the difference between my local time and my son’s so I don’t call him at some ungodly hour by accident?”

Kris: “Why not? You just got through telling me that your cell phone automatically adjusts for daylight saving time or standard time, whatever time zone it finds itself in. Why not have your phone go the whole Monty and calculate your local solar time for you? Or anyone else’s? There are already dozens of apps for this.”

Murphy: “And if I’ve got a plane to catch?”

Kris: “Ah yes. The railroad timetable, or how we got into this time zone business in the first place, back in the 19th century. Your phone will do all that for you. Even tell you when to tune in to the Daily Show – assuming you don’t already have it set to show on demand, rather than when it’s first posted.”

Murphy: “Cool. And if something happens so you’re not plugged into the matrix any more?”

Kris: “Hey look. Do you want to teach your Monday morning class at eight o’clock regularly, instead of at eight some weeks and seven some others, or don’t you?”

This entry was posted in humor, Kris an' Murphy, satire and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Kris an’ Murphy: The Time It Is A’Changin’

  1. Quilly says:

    We could all move to some small tropical island where the time zones never change because everyday pretty much has 12 hours of dark and 12 hours of light — thereby always assuring temperate weather to enjoy all that sunlight, and also ensuring that I am at work during the majority of those lovely daylight hours and the bulk of my free time comes after dark. (Hey, I thought you lived in Hawaii. Why don’t you have a gorgeous tan?)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *