“Glass a milk, dude?”
“Yeah. An’ maybe about a dozen aspirin ta go wit’ it.”
“After me, you first.”
“Just don’ Bogart them pills, man.”
“Right. Here ya go.”
“Thanks, dude. But …”
“But what?”
“Sheesh, dude. Not so loud!”
“Sorry. Don’ know how, after all this time, yer ‘but’ could’ve caught me by surprise, but it did.”
“Ya right, watch it, dude. I was gonna ask how come no maid came along wit’ that milk. You don’ qualify.”
“Dude, in yer condition ya couldn’t handle no maid. Never mind eight of ’em. ‘Course, ya couldn’t do that when ya didn’t have a hangover.”
“Same as you, dude!”
“An’ if’n they’re all a’milkin’, they’re gonna be too busy fer ya anyway. If they can even get inta tha place. Ya got any idea how we c’n fit even one cow inta this pad?”
“Don’ … don’ have a cow, dude.”
“‘Zactly! An’ I ain’t cleanin’ up after no cows neither!”
“Dammit, dude, there weren’t even hardly no chicks at tha party last night.”
“‘Course not. Ya know tha song. Ladies dancin’ is tomorrow.”
“What tha hell good is that? Ya want tha ladies dancin’ on tha seventh day, New Years Eve, not tha ninth when ever’body’s sick a Christmas an’ they have ta go ta work anyhow? Tha song’s broken. Fix it!”
“Nah, dude, gotta leave it as it is. Take tha bad wit’ tha good.”
“What’s good about it?”
“Try ta remind peeps that havin’ parades early New Year’s mornin’ ‘s not the gnarliest idea. Give a dude a chance ta recover first?”
“Yeah? How’s it do that?”
“By puttin’ the pipers pipin’ an’ drummers drummin’ on tha 11th and 12th days a Christmas. Not taday.”
“Jus’ say no ta parades taday, huh dude? I got enuff drummers drummin’ in my head already.”
“Dude.”