Christmas 2013: Day 6

Christmas 2013 Day 6 imageKris: “So, Christmas decorations coming down around your place, or not?”

Murphy: “You mean holiday decorations?”

Kris: “Oh for crying out loud, don’t start that! Especially now now! I tell you, Murphy, one of the things I most look forward to about the end of the season, these days, is that I don’t have to listen to arguments about nativity scenes for another year!”

Murphy: “Shouldn’t be any arguments, you know.”

Kris: “Of course there shouldn’t! People should just …”

Murphy: “Just say ‘nay’.”

Kris:Grooooan! What’re you spiking that eggnog with? Rusty nails?”

Murphy: “Might taste better than whatever they did put in it. Regular bartender must have gone to Hawai`i for the break, or something. To answer your question, yes.”

Kris: “[…]”

Murphy: “Well, what did you expect? Some folk have already packed their stuff, while others will leave them up for the full 12 days of Christmas. Which is what tradition says you should do. Reckon it’s the same in your neighborhood.”

Kris: “People should have more respect for tradition.”

Murphy: “Which one?”

Kris: “The Christmas tradition! The one for which the holiday is named! I bet most folk don’t even know why there are 12 days of Christmas.”

Murphy: “‘Course they do. It’s how you get partridges to sit in pear trees. And they probably think the 12 days are the shopping days before Christmas, rather than the feast days after it.”

Kris: “I know, dammit, I know. And they probably wonder how come all those farm animals don’t get mange, because they’re crowding around a manger.”

Murphy: “Well, that’s how come most of the modern Bible translations call it a ‘feeding trough’ instead of a ‘manger’. I mean, you can’t expect today’s college kids, who get no closer to an actual farm than their iPhones and the Whole Foods store, to get what goes on in a barn or a stable. You must know what their first reaction would be, if they were to enter a real stable.”

Kris: “‘Ewwwwww!‘”

Murphy: “You got the scents of it. Hey, most of the ones who actually care about nativity scenes probably think the animals are standing around adoring the Christ child.”

Kris: “Well, they are, of course!”

Murphy: “Really? I don’t think so!”

Kris: “Philistine. What are they doing, then?”

Murphy: “You really wish to know?”

Kris: “Yes. I do.”

Murphy: “OK, then. Heh, heh …”
What the animals at a nativity scene are really thinking

Kris: “That’s … that’s … sacreligious!

Murphy: “Oh? Is that like a sack lunch? Which somebody should have thought to provide the animals with, since the usual chow line’s been taken up with this baby? Farm animals don’t like messing with tradition any more than you do!”

Kris: “Well, thank God for the tradition that’s coming up.”

Murphy: “Hm?”

Kris: “New Year’s. It can’t come soon enough. When we welcome the new, and put the old to rest, never again to come to mind.”

Murphy: “For auld lang syne …”

Kris:Including this conversation!!

This entry was posted in humor, Kris an' Murphy, satire and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Christmas 2013: Day 6

  1. Quilly says:

    Waiter! There’s a baby in my lunch!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *