Dude and Dude: Callin’ Out The Marine

ocean advice“Advice from the ocean, dude?”

“Why not, dude? Ever’body else ‘z got somethin’ ta say. Ocean’s bigger ‘n all of ’em, maybe we oughta listen.”

“Sorry, dude, I just don’ see it.”

“Aarrggh. Look, dude, ain’t nobody said ya had ta lake it.”

No, dude, that ain’t makin’ it fer me. An’ yer lame jokes certainly ain’t makin’ it. Take that ‘shore’ line. Please. Which shore?”

I dunno. Jersey?”

“Yeah, I thought so too. Don’t ya ‘member what happened ta those dudes last year?!?

“Um … they got wiped out?”

“Shore did, dude. Me, I’m takin’ my self-esteem inland! High an’ dry!”

“Speakin’ a which …”

“I ain’t doin’ no tokin’ until after I get done talkin’. I ain’t near done wit’ that sign.”

“Dude, ya really gotta come outa yer shell more. Stop bein’ so shy an’ retirin’.”

“Like the oyster, dude? Come outa yer shell an’ wind up on tha half shell? No way!

“Might be tha only way ya get any delicacy, dude.”

“I buy mine at the deli, dude!

“With what?”

“My good looks, what else?”

“Riiight. No wonder ya look so hungry alla tha time. Maybe if’n ya spent more of it at the coast, ya’d be able ta get yer own oysters.”

“Are you tryin’ ta get me tide down?”

“Dam right. An’ my nose will thank you for it. ‘Specially if ya take a goddam shower while yer clothes are in tha wash.”

“Is that pier pressure?”

“Yeah!”

“Well, get it offa me! The dam thing’s heavy!

“Get real, dude! I do that, it’s gonna splash. Don’ wanna make waves, ya know?”

‘Course not, dude! Ya don’t make waves, ya ride ’em. CowabuuuunnngggAIYIYIII!

“Ew. Speakin’ a wipin’ out. Dude? Dude??”

” … yeah …?”

“Cowabung … ow?”

” … dude …”

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One Response to Dude and Dude: Callin’ Out The Marine

  1. Susan says:

    Ermahgerd, I’m commenting on a blog for the first time in … some number of years. Years. What a wake-up call… between work, school, kids, house repair and being ill, what time is there? But summer’s coming to take school away, and I just may have the time to rediscover old pleasures, like your blog.

    Dude! Thank you!

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