Reg and Syd: The Climate Change That Matters

Teabagger climate doubter“You don’t seem at all worried about this, Reg.”

“Why should I be, Syd? It’s publicity for our message. ‘Say something often enough …'”

“‘… and it becomes the truth‘. Really, Reg, I passed Marketing 101 ages ago. Of course, the climate change believers are trying to do the same thing.”

“As if they’re even going to come close to matching our advertising budget. And with us putting the squeeze on Federal dollars for those ridiculous ‘climate scientists’, they haven’t got a hope in hell. We can stir up controversy and raise doubts far faster than they can come up with their facts, even before we hammer their funding.”

“You admit that they’re generating facts?

“Why not? We have facts of our own. Facts that matter. You did know about this electric car outfit in California whose products aren’t a total joke?”

“The Tesla firm?”

“Them indeed. And you know what the base price is for their products?”

“Haven’t heard yet.”

“Around $60K.”

“I’ll take ten, if they can deliver by Christmas. I’m low on ideas for gifts for the family, and this sounds like just the thing. Didn’t I read that they have plans to market cars at lower prices down the line?”

“Sydney. You have a profitable suite of companies. Surely you’re not paying your people enough so that they could afford these gadgets at a fraction of their current cost?”

“Of course not. This matters?”

“It matters, Syd. You’ve got these global warming nuts who are telling everybody that they need to save the planet, and the only way to do that is buy all these new gadgets, like the Tesla cars. Which only they can afford! Scientist going by in a Tesla is basically telling everyone else ‘do as I do or you’re scum, and too bad if you don’t have the money’. Well, people need a choice between going bust to buy the things they need and doing entirely without.”

“A choice that only we provide!”

“Precisely. And we’ll keep telling people this, over and over. That fellow with his tongue sticking out understands that there’s only one kind of climate that means squat. The business climate. And if he wishes to have stuff on what we can pay him to stay profitable, he’s going to have to hang with us. He will, and they will, and as I said. The global warming nuts don’t have a hope in hell.”

“Well said, Reginald. But I have a confession to make.”

“Indeed?”

“All this talk of ‘hell’ is making me thirsty.”

“Your cellar or mine?”

“Lead the way, sir.”

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2 Responses to Reg and Syd: The Climate Change That Matters

  1. quilly says:

    Climate zones are changing world-wide. I can’t figure out why people don’t consider that proof.

    • Amoeba says:

      Because they drive down the highway to their climate change labs in their SUVs and chant the mantra “it’s not my fault”, Q. That’s why.

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