Dude and Dude: Season’s Greetings

“OK, dude. Thyme out!

WhAaat?!? I didn’t do nothin’!”

‘Zactly! Like the grocery shoppin’.”

“It wasn’t my turn, dude.”

“An’ ya didn’t clean up after it neither. Look. The .. cupboard .. is .. bare.”

“Well, that oughta spice up yer life, dude.”

What spice?”

Runnin’ from that bear!

“I oughta pepper ya, dude.”

“Gotta catch me first. Besides. I’m the salt a yer earth, an’ you know it.”

“Yeah right. I know all about yer assaults.”

Hey. I ain’t the one who let a bear loose in here. Not to mention this tern ya think I should be washin’ up fer. Ya empty the kitchen feedin’ these things an’ then ya blame me. Dude, yer amazin’.”

“I ain’t!

“Huh?”

“On ‘count a because I ain’t got no mace. Either ta put in tha eggnog ‘r ta smite ya with.”

“That ain’t a savory thought, dude.”

“Whaddaya want? I ain’t got none a that neither.”

“An’ why should ya have? It’s winter.”

“Not fer another week, dude. Don’t rush it.”

“Can’t take the dark ‘n gloomy season, huh? ‘Course, yer prob’ly gonna blame me for that too, ’cause ya think I lost yer girl on ya.”

“My girl? Who?

“Who else? Rosemary! Ya think any other chick’ll have anythin’ ta do with ya?”

“Dude, that was not a sage remark.”

“Says who?”

“Says me!

“Ya got sesame? I thought ya said the cupboard was, ah, empty.”

“Dude?”

“Yeah?”

Get outa here!

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