Reg and Syd: The Outrage

“Well, Syd. I’m surprised the phone hasn’t melted out of your hand. What was that about?”

“That was Serge. He’s not happy.”

“I could deduce that. He’s never been one to suffer in silence. A little bit like Steve was, come to think of it. What happened?”

“Well, apparently, he got a call to fly to Miami on very short notice. So he hopped a flight …”

What? A commercial flight? What happened to his private airliner?”

“Back at Boeing for an upgrade. Must have thought he wouldn’t need it this week. Besides, he got it into his head that he would see how things are going at this airline he chose.”

“The one he owns 35% of?”

“Yes.”

“He flew first class, of course.”

“Of course.”

“And things didn’t go well.”

“Um, no. First of all, he got to the airport after they started loading the plane. He went to the first class portal at the gate … and …”

“Yes?”

They let some coach passengers in ahead of him.”

“And he let that go?”

“He must have. The plane did get off the ground, after all. But then …!

“Go on.”

“After they were airborne … well, you know what happens on a long flight. Especially at our age. After awhile, you, ah, have to get up to go. So he got up, but he couldn’t go, because …”

“Because why?”

There was a coach passenger in the first-class lavatory!

“My word! Was there an explanation for this?”

“Some cockamamy excuse about carts in the aisle blocking access to the lavatory in the back.”

“Hmph. Those cattle back there have just got to learn to hold it, that’s all. They probably had to fumigate the place after that, being, was in there.”

“They certainly had to deionize the first-class cabin.”

“Serge certainly can use, ah, direct language when he feels he needs to.”

“He felt he needed to. He still feels he needs to, as my ears can testify.”

“As well as the ears of those who run – or used to run – that airline. But it’s their own fault. Without our privileges, what’s the point?”

“Indeed. You’d think this was a democracy or something.”

“Sydney! Not in my companies!”

“Mine neither, I assure you.”

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