Dude and Dude: Crookslist

“Well, dude, I guess I won’t be offering an apartment for rent on craigslist anytime soon.”

“I guess not, dude. On account of because all you have to offer is chewing gum for rent, on craigslist or anyplace else.”

Ewww, dude. Chewing gum for rent?

“Why else would you be leaving it on the bedpost overnight? Speaking of ewww. I suppose I should be grateful you’re not leaving it on the mailbox. What’s wrong with craigslist, anyway?”

“You mean crookslist, dude? Lookit this. Dude lists an apartment for rent, gets three inquiries from responsible-looking tenants, and then finds out they’re trying to scam him. It’s a dangerous place, this craigslist. Who can trust it?”

“In this world, dude, you can’t even trust the trust company.”

“What’s a …”

Later, dude. But aren’t you overlooking a couple of things in this story?”

“Like …?”

“Like, here’s a person in Honolulu trying to rent an apartment and getting inquiries from people who claim to be professionals, from places so far away that it’s practically impossible that anyone will know them. But they do claim to be professionals, professors even. And they name their University. Two minutes on Google and you’ll know whether that University has Professor So-and-So on its faculty, and probably get a contact phone or email – which had better match what the inquirer sent you, or wee oh wee oh wee oh. Why didn’t …”

“OK, that’s one.”

“And the other is, where did you get this story?”

“Um, the newspaper.”

“Right. The editorial section, no less. Where did you find it?”

“Online …”

“Because you can’t find the print version with a microscope any more. And why is that?”

“Because they’re selling papers to amoebae?

“Very funny. You’d better hope that OC’s not in a command-X kind of mood.”

CONTROL-X!!

“Even with Vista?”

“Only when you don’t want it to.”

“I rest my case. No, the papers haven’t shrunk because they’re selling to protozoa. They’ve shrunk because nobody’s paying them to advertise their stuff any more. And that’s because …”

“Because why?”

Because all the ads are going to craigslist, dude! That editor’s going to hit craigslist every chance he gets, fair or not. Before his job goes the way of all the journalists who he had to fire and are walking the streets these days.”

“D’ya think it’ll work? People will dump craigslist and pay the paper for ads again?”

“Dunno, dude. I’d like to believe people would listen to us and learn how to use craigslist safely. But they might see that chewing gum and think again.”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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6 Responses to Dude and Dude: Crookslist

  1. Quilly says:

    I can tell you from personal experience that chewing gum does not lose its flavor on the bedpost over night. It, in fact, picks up the added flavor of varnish — kind of like that editorial …..

  2. Doug says:

    Dude is clearly no scientist. From a sample size of three, each professor was a crook. I don’t see where Craigslist is the criminal here.

  3. I placed a Craigslist ad once, whooo boy never again. I got over fifty responses that seemed genuine and yes, were scammers, but fortunately I’d been online long enough (and read enough warnings like the one in your paper) that I didn’t fall for any. Still have the crap I was trying to sell however…so much for Craig!

    What’s funny is that I avoided the paper ads because then you meet someone face to face, and for some reason I’m always convinced the ‘buyer’ wil be waiting for me with three big friends and baseball bats to take my car.

    Maybe I just need my meds adjusted for a happier outlook, but they’re so expensive. Hey, I wonder if there’s any for sale on Craigslist…

    • The Amoeba says:

      Quite the story, Susan. We’ve not had any trouble with craigslist, but then we’ve been buyers, not sellers. Selling’s what ebay’s for.

      Stay off the meds. Let Big Pharma meet its outrageous profit projections out of somebody else’s wallet.

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