Dude and Dude: Final Settlement

“Dude, that’s it! I’ve had it up to here with you! We’re through!

“Wha …”

“Just how much of your guff did you think I can put up with? Huh? Do you have any idea how long it’s been since you’ve posted anything on this site?

“So when did this turn into a solo gig, dude? Besides.”

“Besides what?

“There’s a recession on, remember? I’m saving my strength.”

“Yeah right. You ain’t doin’ a very good job of savin’ it, ’cause my nose knows how long it’s been since you took a shower.”

“Did you do all the acid, dude, or do I have to clean up the place before I call 911?”

“Very funny, Harold. Or is it Kumar? Go ahead, whoop it up. You’ll be payin’ for my pain and sufferin’.”

“Yeah? Like how much? I got a nickel in my pocket, I think …”

“I might make it on 53 grand a week.”

53 grand a week?!?!? You and what army, dude?? Who do you think you are? Kobe Bryant?!?

“I think I’m at least as good as this chick …”

Gimme that!”

“Don’t you be assaultin’ me …”

“Now there’s a thought. A little salt, a little pepper, and maybe you’ll sneeze and blow your brains out and wind up smarter than you were. Smart enough to know that you’re not Swedish royalty. No, take the blonde wig off, it’s even uglier than you are. And take a memo. I’m not a corporate exec who’s older than God and has eyes bigger than what’s left of his nether regions.”

“You’re not?

“I’m not. Sounds like we’d better be powering down the Wii for awhile. Get some fresh air and sunshine. Blow off the fumes a bit. And if you’re real lucky, I might buy you a beer and we’ll still have enough money left over to pay the rent next week.”

“OK, dude. But I really thought, if this girl with the coronet and the attitude could pull this off, I figured it was worth a try …”

“Dude?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re weird.”

“You just figuring this out?”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2009 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

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14 Responses to Dude and Dude: Final Settlement

  1. Doug says:

    I wondered how the dudes were getting along.

  2. Thom says:

    hmmm wonder what the girl with the clarinet is suppose to be pulling off?

  3. Thom says:

    ooops coronet “Toto I wish I were at home”

  4. nancy says:

    hate dude and dude

  5. oceallaigh says:

    Yeah, Doug & nancy, I’m not surprised. Ever since Quilly started accusing them of being just voices in my head, they’ve been uptight. I hope they don’t have to go into therapy; with the health care system the way it is, I don’t think I can afford to sign them up.

    Thom, there’s a time in most people’s lives where you pull it off and you get told, curtly, to put it back on. Because the show got old, or the audience did. We’ll never know the truth. Click your heels together three times …

  6. Thom says:

    Didn’t help. Still here. OH well and I think I’m gonna like Dude and Dude

  7. Quilly says:

    Thom — maybe you need to polish up the sequins on your ruby slippers?

  8. Thom says:

    No can do Quilly…I had to use them on the boiled slippers so they must be with you and OC at your house…besides, they seem to be more your size 🙂

  9. sauerkraut says:

    if your stories were about dude and dudette, then some of us may be inclined to think it’s about you and Q.

    Oooh, yeah… I can just hear her “you’re weird.”

    hahahaaaa

  10. Quilly says:

    Sauerkraut — I would never call you weird. Nope. You are just plain strange.

  11. oceallaigh says:

    “One out of two, dude.”

    “Yeah, dude. That Thom can drop by any time. If we can ever get him back here.”

    “Well, somebody oughta tell him that this ain’t Oz (man, that “ruby slippers” schtick is getting old), it’s Fantasy Island. And we all know how you get to Fantasy Island, right?”

    De plane, de plane! Now, about that other cat …”

    “‘Dudette’. Sheesh. We were here long before OC found her in the wastelands of Vegas. Hell, she don’t even think we’re real!

    “Yeah, dude. We’re real all right. Virtually real.”

    Yeah, du … Whose side are you on?!? You better watch yourself, or somebody will command-X you.”

    “Dude. For the last time. Control-X!!

  12. Thom says:

    It’s not ctl alt del? Well I thought it was Planet of the Apes

  13. oceallaigh says:

    Thom, *ctl* *alt* *del* doesn’t erase you, or even reboot you any more. It takes you to another, and random, dimension. Especially in (shudder) Vista. And “Planet of the Apes” is New York. That’s a direct quote from Linda Lingle … wait, she’s just passed me a note. It says “Tell Tom to beware the Ninja in the service of the HVCB …”

  14. i thought... says:

    dude and dude
    MADE THEIR FINAL APPEARANCE!

    end it for my sake please

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