Dude and Dude: Lick This

“Tha’ wuz gnahlee, dude!”

“Heh huh ha hee what, dude? You want to try speaking English?”

“I am speaking English, dude! My mouth’s a little numb, that’s all.”

“Just your mouth? And this is different from your usual how?

“It was worth it, dude. You oughta try.”

“Try what? Not that I’m about to. I like being coherent when I talk.”

“Your loss. Come here. Here to this tide pool. See these?”

dudeslick_lab1.jpg “Yeah?”

“Stick your tongue on the little arm-y thingys. It’ll charge up your life.”

“You want me to lick the sea anemones?? Dude, I know you were disappointed when OC dragged us all the way out here, and the only weed you could see was kelp. But this is ridiculous. Besides.

“Besides what?”

“I don’t touch anything when its name tells me to stay away.”

Huh?

“Anemone. An Enemy. Get it, numbskull? And besides.”

“Again?”

“Again. I don’t know about you, but I was always taught to lick something my own size, not pick on the small stuff.”

“You mean they get bigger?

“Yeah, dude. Like Portuguese Man-o’-War bigger. An anemone is just a jellyfish stuck to a rock, mistaking your tongue for something to eat and trying to kill it. You lick one of them men-o’-war and you’ll get a charge, all right. So will my credit card, to pay off the undertaker.”

“You have been hanging out with OC too long, dude. You take the fun out of everything.”

“I like it when you lug your own memory around, instead of me having to do it. I know, selfish of me …”

  – O Ceallaigh
Copyright © 2007 Felloffatruck Publications. All wrongs deplored.
All opinions are mine as a private citizen.

This entry was posted in Dude and Dude, humor, nature, science. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Dude and Dude: Lick This

  1. polona says:

    ouch! that was hilarious!

  2. Tina says:

    Definitely a Darwin Award needed for that one…

  3. oceallaigh says:

    Thanks, polona, I’ll tell the Du …

    YEEEEEHAAA!!

    Never mind, I think they know. One of ’em, does, anyway. ‘Scuse me a moment. Y’want to save me what’s left of my ears, dude?

    “When do I get my award, dude?”

    Uh, you mean the Darwin Award that Tina mentioned?

    “Yeah. I ain’t never been nominated for an award before. It’s tubular, man. Wasn’t this Darwin some big deal in your business, OC? Like, big enough to put together a really big prize?”

    You could say that, I guess.

    “So what is it? Enough to keep me in weed (and I don’t mean that stuff you slip on) for awhile?”

    Well, it’s a box.

    “How big?”

    About your size, actually.

    “And what’s in it?”

    You. Especially if you persist in licking sea life for the high. Or interrupting me while I’m trying to answer the nice people who comment on this blog.

    “Oh. Oops. Sorrrreee …”

  4. OMG! This is hilarious – now that I can actually ‘hear’ OC’s voice doing both ‘Dudes’! (Oh, also edifying-good job.)

  5. Judy says:

    Kids say and do the darndest things:-) But usually they are four or five at the time. I hope the Dudes home is child proofed. Ith hith tongue thill thwollen? LOL………….Judy

  6. Pingback: Checked, Not Operable « Quilly’s Quips

  7. melli says:

    Ohhhhhh Nooooooo! Oh my. Quilly? Are you thinkin’ what I’M thinkin’??? (5th graders lookin’ better all the time…)

  8. Brig says:

    Wow. You’ve been in the science field for at least a couple of years now, and yet one of the Dudes still licks the sea life?? Oh boy. Muzzle that one when you walk past the cholera experiments.

  9. oceallaigh says:

    Thanks, Jackie. But I fear there’s no cure for buzzing in the ears, sorry.

    Judy, PC Dude would love to tell you “No Way”. But he can’t move his lips.

    Melli, shame on you. The Dudes passed 5th grade a long time ago. I think.

    I don’t even mention such things in his presence, IG. He’d think that’s where I was hiding the funny mushrooms …

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